AngelicView: I don’t feel as if I can possibly say enough how much I truly appreciate… from the bottom of my heart… all the wonderful stories people have shared with me, you, or just on the internet… of their experiences. Being able to read them and pass them along has been truly life-changing for me. In fact, in way… they have saved my life. In the real sense, I think they have saved my physical life so that I haven’t gone and offed myself. And in a “quality-of-life” sense, they have made my life better and more fulfilled than ever before. I know that if they affect me this way, they probably do many, many others, as well.
This Near-Death Experience account is beyond awesome. Rachel was 12 years old at the time and was swimming at a YMCA pool with her brother and they were having fun in the middle of the deep pool waters playfully fighting over rights to a boogie board (a small foam “board” to aid in swimming) when both of them tired out. At that same time, the lifeguard at the pool had just went for a quick bathroom break. This spells “disaster”… or maybe it spells “a life-changing experience”.
Thank you to Rachel for sharing your experience 🙂
Underwater, I could see all the kids playing, laughing, running, jumping, and screaming. I kicked hard with my legs and came up above the water line. The room was deafening with noise. Each person in the room made the same motions I was about to make. I was going to scream, wave my arms around, and call for help. I was tired. I had two seconds. I could continue with my plan and waste my energy or I could stay up for two seconds and take a huge breath. I took a huge breath and let my brother push me under again. He was no longer in control. He was in survival mode. I was face to face with a hard fact. Either I was going to drown or he was going to drown. I could see each and every one of my choices.
- Let myself sink and swim away. Once I got away I could make my way to the edge of the pool and get help.
- I could go for the boogie board, but I was fairly certain someone had seen it abandoned and already had it in full use.
- I could use him like a boogie board and let him drown.
- I could fight him and we could both drown.
- I could waste my breath screaming and waving and we would both drown.
- I could realize how much I loved him.
I chose the last one. I loved him and I did not want him to be scared. I knew that if I made any motion to leave him, he would loose it. I needed to stay calm and motionless. I needed to let him use me as a boogie board, it was the only way to subside his panic enough for him to keep his face above the water. So, I relaxed. There was no struggle in me. I directed my energy towards sending him tranquil and peaceful thoughts. I tried to convey to him with my body language that everything was going to be okay and that I was fine. When I felt him feel for me, I moved enough for him to know I was still alive. I knew the bodyguard would be back any instant. I just had to wait. I realized time was passing. I did not know how much time.
I opened my eyes. I could see everyone in the room. I could hear what each person was saying. Then, I realized I could see the tops of their heads. I was above the pool looking down. I could see who was in the next room. I could hear what each of them was saying. I could see the lifeguard coming back. He was half way down the hall only twelve feet from the door. He was hurrying, a little anxious. I could see the colors and depth of everything in the room and the room itself, but those things didn’t matter. Time and space didn’t seem to be important.
Sound was. I could hear everything. And with the sound came feelings. I could feel what people were feeling. Only two people in the room were worried about me. One was telling someone who would not listen. The other was a little boy about five years old. When the bodyguard came in the room the little boy went to him and pointed. Immediately the bodyguard was on it. I felt movement in and around my body. I started to debate with myself and my out-of-body experience became something else.
I was no longer a body floating above the pool. I became time and space. I could see the entire universe and it was not like when you watch the Nova channel. It was different because I was the universe. I was everything. Sound disappeared except I could hear my debate. My debate was not sound. My debate was made of time. I could enter my body, my body was a piece of time in space. Or, I could stay out of my body and be everywhere, part of everything, which would be a different type of time in space. I asked the question, ‘Should I go back into my body?’ The answer was, ‘No, you should wait. If you were to go back now, you would die.’
I knew I was ignorant of the reasoning behind it. ‘Wouldn’t I die if I waited?’ ‘No, you’re fine. Wait. If you want to go back, I will tell you when.’ Many people have said I was talking to G*d. I was not talking to G*d, nor an angel. I was talking to myself. Myself was the universe. I was G*d. I knew everything and nothing at the same time. I was everything. I felt movement in my body again and knew I was still not dead. I was on the cold hard floor now, except I was on the ceiling. This time my back was pressed up against the plaster. It was cold and hard. I looked around. I could not see myself in the water. Everyone was at one end of the room. A ring of people were standing around a spot. There was a tense, dense, thickness to everything. The air, the emotions, the sound, the time, the space, the bodies, the thoughts. I knew I was about to go back and I hesitated. Just for a moment I didn’t want to, really didn’t want to return. Before the drowning, I was a very tiny speck of thought, time, space, and sound. I had been a piece of material, a piece of matter, molded into a tight space with severe limits. I had been cut off from time and space. I had been stuck inside something. I had been stuck inside something that experienced sharpness, coldness, need, and the feeling of knowing I was wrong. I was forced to feel the wrong in my actions, feelings, physical sicknesses in the human body, and weakness in will.
During the drowning I was everything everywhere. The pieces of material and matter in the universe where not solid objects. I was the space between. I was everywhere at once. Objects didn’t matter. Not one object was more important than another object. There was just time and space making up each object. And there was time and space in between each of those objects choosing not to be an object in that moment. I knew that, when I went back, I would go back to being cut off. And that made me hesitate. It did not make me sad. It did not make me mad. I knew that once again, objects that were not me would exert their supposed superiority over me. I knew that cold would be separated from heat. I knew that hunger would be separated from the rain. I knew I would have a very long, cold, lonely, and painful life.
Anyone who has ever hesitated understands that hesitation only lasts a speck of a moment and is over before each of the reasons you hesitated, surface. I knew I wanted to come back. I was waiting respectfully, to be able to come back. I wanted to return to the phenomenon of running and jumping. I wanted to feel the warm breeze on my skin. I wanted to return to the perspective of being an object that could bump up against other objects that were not me. I wanted to exist as something that was apart from other things. I wanted to be something of my own. I wanted to be all by myself as an object separated from the everything. That human body waiting for me was an experience to be had. It was an experiment I had only recently started and I wanted to finish that experiment. I was pulled back into my body as the water left my lungs. I did not consciously go towards my body. I was pulled. At that moment, my out-of-body body was pulled in the same fashion a human body is pulled when you tie a rope around your waist while you are wearing roller skates and someone on a bike pulls you.
I felt distinctly like a crumpled-up, wet drowned rat on its back. The water coming from my mouth and nose felt very wrong. The room was thickly warm but the floor was cold, but not a sharp cold, just a hard cold. It was not a snuggly warm feeling at all. Lots of people were staring at me. Everyone looked scared with the hint of a forthcoming sense-of-relief all the while exuding a shifty guilt. My vision was blurred. My eyes were foggy from the water and burned from the chlorine. Which was odd because, when I was on the ceiling, my sight was perfect. I was dizzy and my body felt very very heavy. Like lead. It was difficult getting up. Someone helped me. I must have stayed a while in a room but I don’t remember. I do remember struggling to get my cloths on later and it took forever to get my socks and shoes on. While tying my shoes I remember slipping out of my mind for a while and drifting back and forth, in and out. Definitely not an out of body experience. It was a drifting and slipping, hazy experience.
I lived a normal life after that. As I grew and had heart to heart conversations with people and got to know people one on one, I could tell I was different from many people. I could tell the difference between those that were closed off and those who had been opened up. Some people understand the nature of things. Others don’t. I am religious and spiritual. I don’t need to go to church to talk to G*d. I talk to G*d every second of the day. I am not afraid to die. I look forward to it. Until then, I am living life and doing what I believe is right. I like to experience many things. I live responsibly and fully. I believe in all things in moderation. I drink a few times each year. I’ve tried pot a couple times and even took mushrooms three times. I am happy when I am happy. I am happy when I am sad. I am happy when I am sick. I am happy when I am sick and tired of life. I understand. I think I get it. I think I know why we are all here. I feel like I know the meaning of life.
♥ When I was apart from my body I viewed all humans as an earthly experience. They were objects separated into material matter specifically meant to feel different than anything else known. The fact that they feared my death was an earthly event that occurred that I was aware of. The fact that they spoke from mouths in order to be able to be heard by one another was an earthly event that occurred that I was aware of. The fact that they could not see through walls, planets, or into the past and future was an earthly event that occurred that I was aware of.
♥ When I am conscious everyday I am contained inside my own head. At most, I can get out into the air around me but only as far as my eyeballs can see. I am capable of collective consciousness with people having an experience together. But the only time I can become one with the universe like that, is on psychedelics.
♥ Time is now redefined for me. I know exactly what it is supposed to mean. I know what it meant before the experience. Time changed during the experience and never went back to normal. Time lost and still has no meaning to me. I am able to tick out and count down seconds. I am able to feel the crunch of time. It still drags on when I am bored. But, I understand the quote ‘G*d invented time so all things don’t happen at once.’
♥ My thoughts were not defined by speed. My thoughts were everywhere at once. Speed was not an option. My senses were not limited to the human body. Sound was not of the ear. It was of the soul. Vision was not of the eyeball. It was all knowing, all encompassing. Vision of the eyeballs is blurry or sharply focused. My vision was not limited like that. My emotions were a sense, where-as we do not recognize them this way in the human body on earth. At least not in America. Touch was a vibration versus our usual outer tactile feeling. Before my experience, vision was about the separation of color, space, contour, shade, distance, textures. During the experience my vision was about me being the make up of all existence.
♥ Sound was not of the ear. It was of the soul. I didn’t process sound as separate pieces of information. There wasn’t a person talking separate from others talking. I was everyone, I could feel their thoughts. I could feel their feelings. And sound was the vibration coming from all things. I felt sound. I didn’t hear it. Sound was the life force energy emanating from and blending with all existence. Sound wasn’t separate from vision and touch. They were all one. And it included so much more than just 5 senses.
♥ During the experience I felt all emotions. I felt mine, all the emotions exuded by the people in the room, all the emotions exuded by the people in the other room. I felt peace, love, wholeness, calmness, oneness, curiosity, interest, noted my own ignorance, felt okay with that, for the first time ever, I felt right.
♥ Curiosity. To be human is the chance. The chance of a lifetime. This is our experiment. This is our playground. This is the human experience/experiment. We get to try this out and get a whole new perspective in its gloriously perfected limits and boundaries. The ability to separate from the whole and feel all the unnatural, bad, pain, drivel, gross, that is alone and called ME. And in the midst of all that, we still manage to have joy, love, unity, pleasure, and good. Such a strange and weird opportunity. I personally hate being human, but love being able to experience it. I get to have that perspective. I wanted to finish trying it out.
♥ I did not believe in G*d before that day. I did not believe in G*d that morning. I was a kid. I was self centered. I was selfish. I had no purpose. I had no goals. I had no intention. I did not think anything about the world around me. I woke up and played. I got in trouble. I laughed. I tuned out most of each day. Especially school. I thought the world revolved around me. I thought I was the center of the universe. I only thought about me. Having fun was the essence of waking up. I was a kid. During the experience I was G*d. G*d was me. I was everything. Afterwards, I felt something real inside of me. It was intense. It was love. I started to pray afterwards. I prayed for hours sometimes. I prayed everyday. And not in the ‘I will do this for you, if you do this form me’ fake pray. I praised G*d. I saw. I saw what I was given. I understood how awesome it was. I prayed. I praised. I loved. I felt it. The world had meaning. I had meaning. Suddenly, I wanted to do something that would affect the world around me. I wanted to make the world a better place. I felt real. I knew I was a part of something big.
♥ I suddenly valued other peoples lives. I saw the reason for other humans besides just doing chores around me so I could have food and housing. I believed I could change the world. I believed in myself. I knew suddenly that I mattered. that there was a reason for my existence. I suddenly knew it was not random and pointless. It was real and purposeful.
♥ I saw my existence before this lifetime. I saw what will be again when I die. It was before…much better, and will be much better again after. Life truly does suck. And then you die. Thank G*d. So gather up all the experience you can while your are here.
♥ There is a mystical universal connection and unity and oneness that definitely exists. I felt it. It was wonderful. It makes being stuck in this body and confined to this planet almost unbearable. But curiosity is strong. This human existence is different. Worse. But, still worth the experience. If you are not doing something that you want to fill your memory, then, you are doing it wrong. And even that is okay, you will just be leaving with shitty memories. That’s all.
♥ I was brought into the folds of heaven. Before the experience, I was narrow minded, tunnel visioned, limited in my awareness. During the experience, I was opened, made aware of all. I saw, how living life on earth as human, Was the secret we were being let in on. This existence is the secret. But the 100 years has to be lived in order for G*d to finish his sentence. Our life here is merely a sentence G*d is whispering into our ear.
♥ Our purpose here is to be separated from the oneness. We are here to feel pain. To feel the loneliness. To truly understand how difficult it is to be separated from G*d. In our struggles to love, live, and cherish we get to do something new that can’t be done when there is only peace, light, and love. Here we have the light and dark. Both. When your goldfish dies, cry intensely. That is why you are here.
♥ What we describe as a soul, it lives on, but not separated from other souls. It is Not like being human-without-the-body. The phrase is ‘going back to G*d’. Yes, if G*d isn’t sitting on a throne with a white beard. We are separated here. Life after death is returning back to that from which we have been separated from in order to live as a human in the body given to you for life here on this earth.
♥ Earth is a place given to you. You really can do whatever you want. But you will be stuck with those memories. The reality you build is the reality you are living. Being separated into objects that can affect each other negatively is all part of the experience. If you are ignorantly hurting others. They actually feel the pain you are inflicting on them. Then, that is their experience. Learn along the way. The only reason people experience hell on earth is because we create that hell for each other and do it to each other. If you want to make the world a better place, you have to make it the better place. You, yourself have to personally make it better.
♥ Yes, life can only exist if there is death. Without death, there can be no life. So, we enter a contract with G*d. And the terms and conditions include difficulties, challenges and definite hardships. That is the experience we all signed up for. Take it head on. Love it all. The whole point is not to know. The loneliness is what G*d meant to show you. I cheated by almost dying. I only got 12 years of the intended isolation ride. Now, I am cheating by knowing we only have to be in this hell hole for 100 years. Then, we get to go back to serenity. This life and it’s challenges was G*ds way of saying…’pssst, hey dude, you have just GOT to see this!!! Come check it out.’
♥ Love is. Embrace love. Be love. Be loved. It feels so good because that is where we came from. That is where we are going when we die. The challenge is to make it happen here on earth in this human form. Good luck. Do your best. Be love. When we are all one in unity (without body) dispersed throughout the universe there will be no pain. But, there will be no bodies separated as individual objects to bump into each other, no tingly tongues to excite your groins. No, tiny babies to smell. No proud moment when your son brings home an A on his report card. This human experience is just that. A human experience. This is your time here. Love.
♥ When I remember something in the past, I have to think about it. I have to dredge up pieces and try to figure out the sequence of events. My out-of-body experience isn’t a memory. It is current. It is always. It is still. Now. Today. It happened then, it is still happening. I don’t have to dredge up and try to piece together anything. It is now.
♥ I had the experience when I was 12 and shared it for the first time when I was 20. Those who are still closed, just smile and nod. Those who have been opened totally get it. They are there and we can talk for hours about the meaning of life.
♥ I feel it everyday. It embodies my soul. I am inhabited by G*d. He dwells in me.