LOVE Like You’ll Never be Hurt, and LIVE Like It’s Heaven on Earth


AngelicView: Here is an NDE I think you’ll like. This woman says the same thing that I think – that the reason she has had her NDE and has come back to Earth is because she has touched Divine Love, and she can now be a bridge to bring it back here. This revelation did not come to her immediately after her NDE, though, it took some tough synchronicities to bring it about. Thanks ever so much to Nichole for sharing your NDE. 🙂

I had gone in for a common routine surgery. I am not sure what happened during the surgery as I was knocked out, all I know is suddenly I was running in a grassy field toward a giant sun. I remembered looking down at my legs and they were short to the ground, I was a child again. There was another child holding my hand and running beside me. It was a little blonde hair boy with blue eyes.

The most amazing part was a pure feeling of the most intense love I can barely describe. It was just wave after wave of pure love. It was within me, it was around me, it was EVERYTHING. It felt like heartbeats of love, one wave of love after another. Yet there was love in the interim as well, then the wave would come with even more and more. It was endless, eternal and complete. I had no fear whatsoever, I had no feeling other than LOVE. I had no thought other than reaching the LIGHT. I felt pure happiness and joy.  It was the most beautiful feeling that words could never even come close to describing.  The closest thing I can think of to relate it to on this earth would be the moment I brought my child into this world. That moment of pure unconditional love that I’m sure most mothers and some fathers have felt. Still that is only but a very small fraction of what I am trying to explain. Words seem so small and insignificant in comparison to the experience. 

So I am running towards this massive sun experiencing total acceptance and love. I knew that nothing earthly mattered anymore and I had this complete sense of peace about everything that I had ever done. I just wanted to keep running toward the light. Then suddenly I heard my name being called from behind me.

I stopped and paused for a moment and I knew I had a choice. To keep going forward or to go back. I never remembered making that choice however. The next thing I remembered were doctors standing over me frantically repeating “NICHOLE…Stay with us Nichole” and then the pain came. The pain in my body was so intense I could barely stand it. I now believe that they must have cut off my aesthetics completely at that point and were frantically trying to sew me back up quickly. I have never experienced physical pain like that again thank God. I felt like my body was in a vice and they were squeezing it tighter and tighter.

I do remember laying there saying out loud over and over…NO LET ME GO BACK….I WANT TO GO BACK with tears streaming down my face. I was so upset and I felt for the longest time that I never got to make the choice, that the doctors did it for me and I was so MAD at them.

I think I spent many years depressed and angry because I believed that they robbed me of my graduation date from this planet. I truly believed for so long that I was meant to leave on that day. I couldn’t understand why I would be given a glimpse of something so beautiful only to have to Angel62return to such pain. Pain in that moment and pain in the disillusionment of the world in general. I was only 25 at the time but I believed I was done here and that I belonged where the LOVE is. I have always been a tender heart and the violence and greed on this planet seem so foreign to me and ridiculously unnecessary. After this experience it was dam near unbearable for me to witness it for a long time.  

It’s taken me 20 years to realize that I did indeed make the choice to stay. I know if I had chose to leave no doctor could have prevented that.  I believe I was given a glimpse so that I could carry on KNOWING what we are truly made of. To reinforce my conviction in The Power of LOVE and knowing that it’s all there really is and all that really matters. I think I was given this blessing so I could share it with others.  I have read other stories so similar to my own, with slight variations in the visual experience, I’m sure due to our own life paths but the feeling of LOVE seems to be the common theme. A Return to Love is no cliché, it is truly LOVE we are made of. It is where we came from and where we will return when we are done with this body. I know we come here to anchor this love in this place, to increase this LOVE, to remember what we are is LOVE, but why I can not presume to say.

Today I work so hard to raise the awareness of how powerful collective LOVE is….it’s what the entire universe is made of. We can call it anything we want… God, Allah, Jesus, Mohammad…the name is all the same under the word LOVE. Now I try to help others to Just BE LOVE.  My daily mantra is “I LOVE therefore I AM ” I am looking forward to my final return to love but in the meantime I hope to share the love I touched for a moment there with the people I love here.

I did not see a tunnel that I can recall although it felt like my return was through a pin hole is the best way I can describe it.

It was a different environment for sure.  There was the grass – the sun – and the galaxy made of stars surrounding it.  Nothing else existed.

I felt like I had no more questions (and in life I had a million of them all the time ever consuming me) here in this place all questions had answers but I no longer needed to even ask them.  I just knew on a deep level. It was the second most powerful part of my experience only second to the LOVE.

This experience has shown me that only LOVE is real.  ALL we encounter is LOVE. I feel the “Special Knowledge” I gained is far to much to recount here and it is a living breathing thing to this day still uncovering itself.  The purpose I felt is just to BE LOVE…I do not feel any need to accomplish great task or live in any certain manner…just to know that I am loved and I am LOVE. I guess the best thing to say is LOVE is our purpose. I want to help others feel that too that is my purpose to raise the love all around me.

Initially I was depressed and angry for having to return to my body. I looked out at the world and it wasn’t as loving or beautiful as what I had witnessed there and I felt homesick for many years.  I had another series of life altering events in the year 2001 that literally bled the anger out of me.  A whole other experience where I was facing death and had an out of body but not what I call an NDE as I never lost consciousness or anything like that. I was attacked by a mob (10+) of people with beer bottles who were very much trying to kill me and it was the most violent thing I have ever went through. 

That experience along with my NDE is when I finally fully understood what I was here to do.  The world needs more love HERE and I have touched the other side where it’s all the love in the universe. I believe I can now be a bridge for that love.  I vowed after that attack to let go of my anger fully. I had bought a gun for protection in 2000. I got rid of it immediately after being attacked as I knew from that moment on I did not want to bring any violence to this world inangel7 any way. The world was so violent already and I wanted to be sure I put as much love and compassion into the world as I could to counter act it. This is how the experienced changed me however it took a couple of aftermaths to bring it all full circle.  I suppose I had to stop feeling sorry for myself for having chosen to stay here and to get on with what I came to do. Which is increase the LOVE.  That is just a small fraction of how it has changed me but it is most likely one of the most significant.

~ (AV: Before her NDE…) My belief that we were bad, and imperfect and always having to live up to some fictional being that others tell us is the only way to god.  I also believed in a male looking god figure that I no longer believe.  I’m not sure what god is other than I know it is love…now is there something greater that is creating the love that I felt…possibly or perhaps it is a collective love formed by all the souls of us people.  So where most of my other questions got answers, this answer has turned to a question.  Only difference is I don’t fret it… if there is a being creating the love well the being must be love to create such love so I have no fear of it.

~ [Now] I have more love and compassion for others.  Sometimes others can’t be in that energy for long and fall away, others it draws in.  Some of the people from that time frame are still in my life today and others are long gone.  The ones that were fear based and wanted to stay that way are the ones that moved away from me, the ones in fear but wanting the light seem to draw closer and the ones that were already radiating light and love are my lifelong soulmates.

At the time of the NDE I was searching in everything for the meaning and purpose in life.  I desperately wanted to understand what happened after death, what are we here for, how do we get here all the big questions.  I studied Astrology, Tarot, Rune Stones, all kinds of spiritual gurus, channeling, native American philosophies, World religion classes, auras, crystals, hypnosis, past life reincarnation and the list can go on an on.  I was searching for answers anywhere and everywhere. Trying to follow the rituals etc.  After the NDE I realized none of those things were necessary because the answers are all within and I had be given a magnify glass. I still played with all the fun stuff for awhile but I know I don’t need it to know.

~ [In the NDE] I was around the age 5 which was before any traumatic experiences occurred for me in life.  I feel I went back to the time before any emotional pain touched me.  As a child my favorite thing to do was run in a grassy field on a sunny day.  I even would get the urge as soon as I saw one.  So for that to be my homecoming is very special to me.  I also have always wondered who the little boy was that was with me.

“Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.”
Martin Luther King Jr., A Testament of Hope: The Essential Writings and Speeches

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