My Task is to be Worthy of the Gift

Moon in Gratitude

AngelicView: This NDE is from a man who’s experience was brought on by Pneumonic Tuberculosis when he was 27 years old. At least, that is how it looks to us here on Earth. He had been sick for six weeks with this illness. But to me, it seems that his higher self or spirit guides may have manifested this illness as a wake-up call for him. See, he had been unhappy with his life and only had complaints up until this point. He wasn’t fulfilling his mission or goals that he had set out for himself prior to incarnation. Thanks to Leonard for sharing your experience so that many other people can learn from it.

I had been sick for six weeks and was in a lot of emotional pain. I was exhausted after nightly nocturnal sweats where I was losing a large amount of water each night and had lost about 40 pounds. I was a very unhappy person and didn’t like my life. I wanted to die and was praying for death for a few days before the incident. I was actually complaining to God that the service was terrible in that I was begging for death and felt that I was being ignored.

I suddenly noticed that my location was at he top of the room, at ceiling level, and I could see my body on the bed below me. I don’t remember where in the sequence it was but I recall that as I ascended out of my body, I was aware of an orgasmic body reaction as I escaped gravity. It felt wonderful and I questioned if the state would stay with me forever as it was steady and didn’t seem to lose its intensity and it didn’t fade as time progressed as orgasms on earth do. It soon became bothersome as it was distracting and I wanted it to leave. It quickly did. In retrospect I can place this part in the ascension phase, as I left my body.

After a short while viewing my body from the top of the room, I became aware of a voice saying that I was not being ignored but that it was not my time to leave. I responded that I wanted to leave and felt that my life belonged to me so it was my decision. I noticed a figure over my left shoulder framed in a dim light in an alcove. I realized that I was talking with this entity but we were not speaking with an outer voice but were communicating telepathically. I was told that I could leave at any time, that I had my life because I asked for it and could end it any time I chose to. I said: good, I choose to.

I was soon sitting before a large screen and seeing my life experiences scroll by. The good, the bad and the ugly. I was strangely not connected to the incidents. I was unemotional as they passed by my vision, even if the experiences were very traumatic when they happened. I felt nothing. I recognized them all and even saw things that happened that I didn’t remember as part of the experience but had no reaction to them. After a while the “review” was over and the discussion returned to the subject of this is not my time and I needed to go back to finish the life. I answered that I didn’t want to do that and noticed a very bright light off to my left at the end of a tunnel. I bolted up and started to run for the light. I heard the entity say that I shouldn’t go there as I would not be able to return. I said I had no intention of returning and soon found myself in the tunnel which was formed out of cave like walls that undulated in and out to the tunnels interior dimension. Strangely there were people hiding between the walls and seemed very stressed. I kept going until I entered a giant room. I saw outlines of many people who had no features that I recognized but, I knew that thy were loved ones. I quickly greeted them and moved further into the light.


I was now on a stage or podium and the light was fully on me. The light penetrated me fully and I had never felt love like that before. Every cell in my body was full of love from the light and I began to laugh and cry simultaneously. I was crying for joy as I knew I was delivered into God’s light and laughed at myself for doubting I ever would. And the love kept coming. I felt that I was going to burst, I wanted to somehow return something but I had nothing to give. And then it hit me. I had been there before, in exactly the same place. Then too I wanted to have something to give back and had nothing to give. It suddenly occurred to me that this is the reason that I had taken the life in the first place, to get something I could bring back to give in return for the ecstasy I experienced in the light. But all I had for my experience of my life was complaints. I immediately realized that I had to return to fulfill my purpose in taking the life and no sooner had I realized this but I was back in my bed and seeing the whole thing evaporating for my readjustment to being here on earth.

Ultimately I discovered that I am the source of my experience and that I have a commitment to my manifestation as close as I can get to my ideals. I do this out of my love for God and in compliance with my desire to have something to give back. I know that God only wants one thing from me and that is my self realization of me as an aspect of God. My task is to be worthy of the gift.

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