“Forgive Him”

AngelicView: This one could be categorized as an NDE or an OBE because while it’s sure that her life was threatened, it’s unclear whether her vitals were distinguishable at the time of the experience. Never-the-less, this is a very interesting case. So interesting, in fact, that it was featured on the Oprah Winfrey Show several years ago – and I remember seeing that show. It is also a bit disturbing to read because of the trauma involved. I cannot leave that part out because it’s an integral part of the story. So if you are very sensitive, you may just want to skip over this one. If you think you can handle it, you won’t want to miss it.

Robyn was being attacked by her husband and it was his intention to make her suffer and then kill her. During this attack, Robyn left her body and had a short conversation with Jesus where-in she asked him what she should do.

Following the story is more information through additional questions provided by Dr. Jeff Long, NDE Researcher at Near Death Experience Research Foundation.

It’s complicated. But the facts are I told my husband I wanted a divorce and he decided to kill me. Apparently he had planned it out for a long time so that when the time came that I “rejected” him he was able to act quickly. Our three children were spending the night next door, so after several hours of talking with him in our home I got up to go next door and stay with the children. It was 3:00 in the morning. I made it as far as the front door when he bolted in front of me and locked the door. He pinned my arms behind my back and dragged me into our bedroom, threw me on the bed and then climbed on top of me and sat across my abdomen.

As I looked up at him I saw something shiny in his right hand. As the shiny object came down towards my face I thrust my left hand up to block the object. It was the brand new pair of 8-inch sewing shears I had just bought a few days before. All I knew was that the object had to be stopped – without even realizing yet that it was a pair of scissors and that I had grabbed the open blade. We struggled for control of the object in his right hand and as I had a death grip on it he finally had to rip it from my grasp. As he did this the blade of the scissors severed all the nerves and tendons in my left hand so that my hand collapsed to the bed useless. I screamed but no one could hear me. I knew that no one would be coming to save me. When I looked at his face I could see the rage as he held the scissors high above his head again – this time my hand was useless to defend myself.

He then proceeded to furiously chop off my waist-length blond hair. In the process of bringing the scissors so close to my scalp he stabbed me in the top of my head. When he finished chopping off all my hair and flinging it out into the air everywhere, he then pinned my arms behind my back again and dragged me into the master bathroom. He closed and locked the door, looked at me and grinned. I said, “What are you going to do to me?” He answered, “I’m going to shave your f#&^ing head.” He then proceeded to cover my head with shaving cream. When he raked the single edge razor across the top of my head we then both discovered that I had been stabbed because blood spurted out two feet and covered the wall-size mirror that I was facing. This infuriated him because he had to clean all the blood off the mirror so he could carry out the rest of his plan – which included having me watch what he was doing in the mirror. He did, in fact, shave my entire head – which took about an hour. During that hour I bled profusely from the head stab wound and I had to watch as he emptied sink-fulls of bloodied water down the drain. I finally reached a point toward the end of the hour when I could not stand up anymore. My legs were weak and I knew I was going to pass out.

I then told him I could not stand up. He responded, “Go ahead and lay down on the floor because you’re dead, bitch, no matter what.” During that hour he had already told me exactly what he was going to do to me. Besides telling me that he was going to cut off my nose and breasts, his final plan was to light me on fire with gasoline. I knew that he had a 5-gallon can in the garage. During the hour I had been praying, “Please Dear God, Let this cup pass from me…No one is coming to save me, no one heard me scream, no one…” It was at this point that I “knew” I was in two places at the same time. I left my body and passed through a tunnel of light which took me to a door of brilliant light. The door opened. I knelt down (and saw that I was dressed in a dark robe of some sort). As I knelt I looked up to see Jesus in front of me nailed to the cross. He looked down directly into my eyes. I’ve never seen eyes like those before or since. As he looked into my eyes I asked him, without speaking words, “What do I do?” He answered without speaking words, “Forgive him.” As he “said” the words it was done. The forgiveness happened in that very instant.

I was returned fully to my body in the bathroom but everything had changed, and I knew this. While I was “gone” my husband had continued shaving my head so that now there was only one inch left to shave. I opened my mouth and started to speak…using words that I did not consciously choose or have any control over whatsoever. The first words that came out of my mouth were “The water will make everything okay.” When I said the word “water” I noticed that he put the razorblade down and seemed to almost go into a trance. He stared at himself in the mirror as if waiting for my next words. I repeated again, “Everything’s okay. The water will heal everything.” He continued staring into the mirror, waiting. I then instructed him to take off his clothes and get into the shower. Because of the stab wound in my head my white blouse and blue skirt had gotten covered in blood. Blood had even dripped down my skirt, down my legs and into the calf-high leather boots I was wearing. Consequently my husband had already ripped off all my clothes so he wouldn’t have to look at the blood, so I had been naked throughout most of the ordeal.

At this point I told him to take off his clothes. He continued staring off into space as he unbuttoned his shirt and took off his blue jeans. I then repeated again, “The water will make everything alright.” I reached over with my good hand, the right one, and turned on the water in the tub. I felt the temperature of the water and it was warm, not hot. I pulled up the nozzle to turn on the shower and reached up and aimed the shower head so it pointed toward the back of the shower. I opened the shower door wide and motioned for him to climb in. He did. He stood at the back of the shower so that the water was hitting him at the nape of his neck. I climbed in the shower behind him and continued repeating, “Everything’s okay. The water will heal everything.” As the water poured down his back he placed his hands with palms against the back of the shower tile wall high above his head, almost as a person surrendering would do, and he repeated three times, “I know this is a trick, I know this is a trick, I know this is a trick.” I answered very softly, “No, no, no, the water is healing everything.”

As I stood there within inches of his back I knew I was waiting for the final word – the word that would free me. I knew a word was coming that would save me. I could feel the heartbeat of the world in the room, and the heartbeat got so strong that it felt like the room would explode. The explosion came in one word, “NOW!” When the word came I threw open the shower door, jumped from the shower, unlocked the bathroom door and ran, down the long hallway from the master bedroom to the other side of the house, all the way to the front door. I unlocked the deadbolt and ran across the lawn, never daring to look back even once. I knew there was no time even for that. Just run. I ran to my neighbor’s house where my three children were sleeping (it was now about 5:00 in the morning) and turned their front doorknob. It was unlocked. I ran in and dead-bolted the door behind me. Within seconds my husband was banging on the door trying to get in. My neighbors were awake by now, of course, and called police. Everything that followed is another equally long story, but all I knew at that moment was that I was alive. I had no other thought except, “I’m alive.”

“I knew that no human could save me from what was happening. If I was to be saved it would have to be by divine intervention. As I prayed and the prayer was answered, I became one with the entire universe and one with the power of love.

Hi Robyn, 

               I had several questions, and would greatly appreciate your comments on them.  I note that you encountered Jesus, and it appears Jesus gave you information that apparently saved your life.  Did I understand that correctly?  Your encounter with Jesus nailed on a cross while going through what you were, and hearing “Forgive him” from Jesus is breathtaking.  Any further comments you have on the statement of Jesus to ‘forgive him’ would be appreciated.  I would also be interested in how this experience affected your concept of ‘forgiveness’ for the rest of your life.  Any other comments about Jesus in your NDE would be appreciated.  Thanks again for sharing your most remarkable experience!


Hi Jeffrey,

I appreciate your quick response to my story. Yes, you did understand correctly…the message Jesus gave me saved my life. When he said “Forgive him” his words made it so, and that changed everything. The power of his love filled the room and I actually felt the heartbeat of the universe inside me – so much so that it seemed the whole room would explode. It’s very difficult to put into words because it’s beyond any worldly experience. How has this concept of forgiveness affected me since? I taught my three sons to forgive so that when their father got out of prison they were able to communicate with him from a place of peace within their own spirits. Forgiveness releases us from the burden of judgment. As human beings, we are not equipped to judge, and to do so can cause great harm to ourselves and to others. As with the brutal assault that happened to me, my husband had judged me to be the “enemy” and had rationalized killing me. The pendulum had swung so far in that direction that only a divine intervention could bring it back into balance. Forgiving him robbed him of all his power over me. He planned to pour gasoline over me, but instead I poured water over him…and all was healed. Jesus proved to me that his words are as alive today as they were 2000 years ago, “Forgive him, for he knows not what he does.” And yes, Love is the greatest power in the universe. I know my story borders on the unbelievable, except that I’m living proof it happened. A couple of years ago, on the anniversary of the assault, I was awakened by a dream hearing a man call my name three times, “Raphael, Raphael, Raphael”. I answered the man in the dream and said, “Why are you calling me Raphael? That’s not my name.” He answered, “Yes, it is your name because you are what it means.” I got up out of bed and looked up the definition. The first one I came across said “God has healed”. I would be more than happy to answer any specific questions you may have. Feel free to contact me at any time.


Thanks for the additional comments!  Greatly appreciated!  One other question- below is an excerpt from what you shared.  Also, in what you shared, you said on your return “everything had changed, and I knew this”.  Any further comments on the change that occurred would be appreciated.  It sounds like your husband at the time changed immediately when you returned from seeing Jesus.  Do you have any explanation for that?  Was this in response to your change in attitude or did there seem to be something else to it?  Did anyone ask your husband later what happened from his perspective?  Any further comments that you have on this would be appreciated!  Thanks again!


I opened my mouth and started to speak…using words that I did not consciously choose or have any control over whatsoever. The first words that came out of my mouth were “The water will make everything okay.” When I said the word “water” I noticed that he put the razor blade down and seemed to almost go into a trance. He stared at himself in the mirror as if waiting for my next words. I repeated again, “Everything’s okay. The water will heal everything.” He continued staring into the mirror, waiting. I then instructed him to take off his clothes and get into the shower. Because of the stab wound in my head my white blouse and blue skirt had gotten covered in blood.”

Hi Jeffrey,

As I started my story with “It’s complicated”, I believe chapters upon chapters could be written and I still could not fully explain what happened. Immediately when Jesus said the words “Forgive him” I felt surrounded by a protective force that was explosive. It felt as if the universe itself was trying to fit into that small bathroom and the air inside the room became alive with a profound life force – I could actually see particles of some sort in the air surrounding me and the walls appeared to be pulsating and expanding. Something was happening outside of myself that made me a witness. Jesus’ words evoked a power that I became a part of, but it did not emanate from me. As an individual human being, at that moment I did not exist, but rather I was one with the spiritual force that was enveloping me. I knew even with the horror of what was still happening to me in that room that a power beyond myself was in control and that I had surrendered to it by forgiving my husband. The act of forgiveness was the key that unlocked the door, and it was my surrendering to it that allowed me to be the empty vessel so it’s power could be made manifest. The healing words that came out of my mouth were not my words. I spoke them but they were coming from somewhere else. “I” did not exist. There was only love, pure love, and it was all powerful. As the words kept coming out of my mouth I felt as if my veins were being injected with a substance. I can only describe it this way – the substance felt like liquid thought going into my veins and coursing throughout my entire body so that the only thought I consciously had was “Love is the greatest power in the universe”. And in those moments that is what I was filled with. Since that day I am perhaps the most cautious person in the world about the words I choose to speak. I know first-hand the power of the spoken word…and even the unspoken.  Concerning the spiritual revelations and intervention I had during the assault, he has no knowledge. 

Thank you for giving me the opportunity and platform to share my story. One more thing I’m not sure I mentioned in filling out the questionnaire on your site, but at the time this all happened to me I was reading more about Buddhism than Christianity. I had not grown up in a family with religion and so had taken it upon myself to read the entire New Testament several years before this happened. However, the majority of my reading was about Eastern philosophies since I was a teenager. So it’s more than interesting that it was Jesus, not Buddha, who appeared to me in that hour of need to save me. I believe that the message of forgiveness had to come directly from the Source, and that was Christ. Still, I’m at a loss for words to explain it.


7 thoughts on ““Forgive Him”

  1. A good script for a horror story, what a traumatic experience. Jesus is the archetype of suffering and forgiveness as such exist deep in our psyches ( therefore in our conscious universe also) .
    It reminds me of an NDE about woman who was sexually and physically assaulted during her childhood by an uncle then when experiencing the NDE Jesus brought the spirit of her abuser (now dead) and asked her what she wanted him to do to him. She replied forgive. Then returned to her own body to survive but free herself from the chains of hurt and hatred.
    There is a natural spiritual experience that many may have and not even notice it. It is the one when we consciously invoke a forgiving, loving knowing within ourselves. Then it develops an almost tangible quality that seems to fill any space between others or places.

    • Cuthelain:
      I lost my son to accidental overdose on April 27th, 2014. I went on his facebook page and addressed his friends. He had good friends and he had other friends, those who enabled him with his addiction.
      I invited all his friends to attend the prayers and Mass for my son. I knew that with addiction, some of his friends were hurting and wished to attend but were ashamed to face me. I merely typed, you loved him in your way and we, his family loved him in ours. I don’t judge you. Let us put aside our differences and come together and celebrate my son’s life. There were so very many people there. Each time young people entered and took a seat, I purposefully went to them and embraced them. I thanked them for coming and assured them that he was at peace. I needed to do this not just for myself, but for my son. I knew he would wish it of me. One person in particular, I held and said, I do not hate you. He wept and I walked with him to my son’s urn. I left him there with his friend, for I knew he had to make his peace.


      • I am very sorry for your loss Bernadette losing a child is particularly traumatic. To release any lingering ‘blame and anger ‘ through forgiveness is best for all mostly for ourselves and the departed who can often feel the attachments which can become a nuisance for them.

  2. What an experience! Many people experience their Higher Self as Jesus or their master [whatever their belief system] and this happens to make the experience more potent so that they easily relate to it. Though she did say that she was reading Buddhist philosophies, I believe her unconscious still attributed “forgiveness” with Jesus…and that is OK.
    Forgiveness is a great power and releases a lot of negative energy within us. There is also a Buddhist meditation practice called “Tonglen” and it is very powerful. Thank you for sharing this…very healing.

  3. Thank you so much for sharing your story, Jesus is my teacher and I find your story very powerful and my question do you is; what about your husband, what did he witness on his behalf?
    Did he feel these powerful presence inside the bathroom?
    He must have had an experience as well, as the healing was happening

    • I believe towards the end of this article, Dr. Jeff Long asked that question to the author and she said that he couldn’t be reached afterward (he was probably in prison) to ask. 😉

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