Our Father Who Art in Heaven, “Howard” Be Thy Name

AngelicView: I love this NDE for the imagery it provokes. Jill was lucky in that she got to meet her Spirit Guide. There are some points that are characteristic of most NDE’s, but with some other rather unusual aspects, as well. 

I can also relate to how this motorcycle accident happened, as I also had a hard time “leaning” into the curve and nearly got thrown from the bike before. Thanks so much to Jill for sharing your experience. 🙂

It was Halloween, 1971.  I was on the back of a motorcycle, heading out towards McDonald’s for lunch with a young man.  All he had going for him was that he owned a motorcycle. 

I was new to bike riding.  The leaning thing was counterintuitive to me – lean the direction the bike was leaning.  I learned the hard way not to lean the wrong direction. 

We came around a curve when the bike seemed to lean too much to the left.  I found out later we had hit an oil slick.  My instinct was to lean to the right.  This was probably a good thing because otherwise I would have been pinned under the bike in oncoming traffic.  I remember flying through the air and seeing the guardrail coming up awfully  fast.  After that, everything went black and I could hear a high-pitched bell-like white noise. 

There was no light where I was, but I could see a very thin, very large crescent come into my field of view.  It got smaller and smaller until I recognized what it was – the back side of the earth.


I began to “float” in front of it until I was looking at the day lit side.  It got smaller and smaller as I was being drawn away from it by some unseen force – much like what I suspect a tractor beam would feel like on Star Trek. 

I turned around to be drawn forward not backward, and that’s when I saw all the heavens.  The stars, the nebulae, the novae, the dust clouds, the galaxies, the planets, the sun – all of it – in 3D!  And it was alive and moving, not static like in the pictures from the Hubble.  It was so much to take in and all so incredibly beautiful. 

As I was drawn “forward” – to what end I couldn’t know – I realized a few things. 

(1)       This was real – as real as anything I had ever experienced.  I’m a lucid dreamer so I know when I’m dreaming.  This was no dream.

(2)       The answer to the big question, “Why are we here?” is “Why not?  It’s a good idea.”  Or better yet, “Because.”  And that’s really it. 

I noticed I began to be drawn faster and faster.  The stars began to move past me at a faster rate until they became streaks of light.  Then they started to blink out until I found myself in total darkness again.  I wasn’t scared; it was a comforting, maternal kind of place that made me feel safe. 

Then I noticed, way far, far away, a little speck of light, like a single light from a farm house set way back from the freeway.  Then it was closer and I could tell it was golden.  Then it was closer, then closer – this went on for about 8-10 jumps – like, “Boom, boom, boom” and the next thing I knew I was right next to it.  It was a golden cloud that was “boiling”; it looked like pictures I’ve seen since of the surface of the sun. 

The next instant I was inside the cloud.  I was floating down a large hallway, maybe 20×20.  There were people there, but I didn’t recognize anyone, fading in and out of the cloud walls.  I seemed to be floating over the heads of a LOT of people on a level right below me.  They were all in white and seemed to be content – I think these were Mormons. 

As I floated along, I remember one man in particular who was standing off to the left in a bend in the hallway.  I asked him where was I, and he kind of chuckled and said, “Just keep going.  Go on down to the front.” 

So I did.  When I got to the end of the hallway I met a guy that looked like a concierge in a hotel, working behind a desk. He looked up at me with a rather perturbed expression on his face, and he thought, “What are you doing here?” 

I said, “I don’t know; I’m just here.  This is where the people back there,” pointing over my shoulder to those hanging out, “told me to come.” 

He shrugged, furrowed his brow, and thought, “Well, wait a minute.  Let me check something.” 

While he was checking, I looked behind him and realized we weren’t in a tunnel at all; we were in a cave and he was at the entrance.  Behind him was a beautiful landscape, a hillside with sparkling trees and flowers and a brook — the most beautiful, peaceful place I had ever seen.  Then I saw people sitting in lotus positions on the hillside, facing to my left.  A great light began pulsing on them. 

I was curious, so while this guy had his head down, looking at something — a computer perhaps — I snuck around the corner to see what was going on.  I walked into what appeared to be a very large (30 feet, say) presence that exuded love and innocence.  It just seemed to be full of so much joy it couldn’t contain it, and so it pulsed, and it felt really good.  It flooded through me like water through a sieve.  Interesting and stunning and awe-inspiring and all the words. 

“Angel of Fate” by Valiant

I tried to get closer.  I realized the presence was on an island, surrounded by a pool of liquid.  When I stepped into the liquid, all that was “Jill” disappeared.  “I” no longer existed … and yet, “I” was still there.  I was the essence of … life, I guess.  I don’t know what else to call it.  I was conscious of my surroundings — I had joined with all the other consciousness in the pool and had become one with it.  I “knew” all other life in the pool; I was “one with everything.  I was home. 

And then I was back. 

The guy had pulled me back to the front of the desk.  Breathlessly, I asked, “What was THAT?” 

He said, “Don’t worry about that.  Don’t even think about it.” 

I said, “But … but … I want to go back.” 


“But –” 

And the next thing I knew I was back outside the gold tunnel.  As I was being repelled from the cloud, I could hear the “clerk” say, “Don’t worry.”  I hoped he meant, “Don’t worry; you can come back”.  I retraced all the footsteps I had gone through in space to get to it in the first place.  “Big whoop” I thought as I saw the heavens that had just moments before struck me dumb by their beauty. 

I was very downhearted after that.  I tried to tell people about it, but everyone thought I was crazy or on drugs (which I wasn’t at the time, by the way). 

I found it interesting that the people who gave me the hardest time about my retelling were self-professed Christians.  I never understood that. 

Anyway, I call the guy behind the desk Howard.  That’s because that’s what Jesus said God’s name was — “Our father who art in heaven, Howard be thy name.”  I know it’s a bad joke but he doesn’t seem to mind. 

To this day he and I talk.  He’s always there for me, even when I turn my back.  I don’t get it.  He must have done something really goofy to be my caseworker.


6 thoughts on “Our Father Who Art in Heaven, “Howard” Be Thy Name

  1. Hello, I cannot find your email to write an update. I have been thinking of getting Shamanic healing to help with energy. I have been debating myself about it. Wondering if Shamanism is just another religion that will help me no more then prayer did. I plan on staying on medication. I tried to find a therapist who wouldn’t write off all New Age as insanity. Such therapists are not easily covered by insurance. So the choice is Shamanic healing or therapist.

    I attended a basic workshop on Shamanism. I do not know if the beliefs match up with mine. I am trying to set up an appointment, but don’t know if I would be wasting money. At the workshop I went on a journey and retrieved the Animal Spirit of Crickets. In the journey the Cricket told me that its gift for me was Song, and to honor it by being in nature. The Cricket also asked me to honor it by eating a Cricket because it is nutritious. I do not know if I can do this. (Why couldn’t it have asked something easy.) I feel like I sound crazy.

    • Oh, no! I couldn’t eat an insect. I can barely touch an insect.

      I love that you are having this experience! Thank you so much for letting me in on it. I hope it really works out well for you – let me know 🙂

  2. Close, and interesting they way your being interpreted your surroundings. Keep in mind that you need not worry about missing out on this place, as the next time that you see it you will feel full of joy and young again. The things and how they appear are based on your perceptions, as those are things that do not exist in the physical plane, they are much much higher in energy. You can see them anytime that you want once your skills are good enough, but most can’t because of their views of what reality really is. Each person will see something different based on what they believe the other world is, some will see lakes of fire, others a lonely olive tree to sit under, and I see many different things. I am only partially in this world since I seen that white light and heard that sound due to a physical attack. The one constant is the love that is felt, and it can appear in many different forms. The one way that does work so not to see the lake of fire is to live your life with love and kindness, if someone has fear and they expect to see it they will see the lake of fire. Christ said in Psalms 23 to have love and live without fear and said that he would be with you. The same applies to other people that believe in other things, as their deity will appear to them and show them love. All they need to do is not reject them, we judge ourselves most harshly and live in fear this is why the majority of people are weak.

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