A Meditation Experience
Prior to the experience I had on Christmas day 2010, I had been practicing a certain form of meditation whereby my focus was on concentrating on what I call the “space” that is between my thoughts. What I was trying to accomplish was staying in that space with an attempt to reach a state of mindlessness. After many hours of practicing this, one day (prior to the experience), during one of my sessions I felt a very strong wave of energy go through my entire body. The first time that this happened it scared me, and as it was happening I immediately resisted the feeling and bounced back out of the deep state that I had reached during the meditation. After thinking about the experience I did not know what to make of it and I thought that I might have been at the threshold of death it self. Weeks later it happened again and I began to become very curious about what would happen if I did not resist the energy that was overtaking me. I began to work up the courage in preparation for the next time that this happens to surrender to the feeling without any resistance. On Christmas day 2010, I was experiencing some difficulties with my family and we were not speaking to each other.
I was single with no children and feeling very alone at that time. You might say that I was willing to explore where this state would take me because at the time I felt alone in the world and other than my belief in God, I was feeling very lonely (particularly because of the holidays) and unloved. This I guess helped me to have the courage to not resist this should it happen to me again. On the day that my experience happened I was laying down and I began to focus on my meditation when I felt what I would describe as walking through a door that led from being in a conscious state that included various attachments to what I would call a pure state of only awareness. Upon entering this state I remember having the feeling of being awe struck at the shear feeling of what I can only say is far beyond words. Trying to describe it would be pointless and very misleading to anyone who has not experienced this for themselves.