“We are All Afraid, and it’s ALL OKAY”

AngelicView: I ran across this amazing NDE today in a public Facebook Group, and got permission from the experiencer to share here. The message that this woman has… and what she learned during her NDE is one that could be very inspirational to every one of us living this life here on Earth. 

Below her NDE account I will post questions from the group and her answers to those questions, as I feel that that information is just as important to hear and understand as the experience itself. I may come back tomorrow or the next day and edit this post if more questions are posed and answered.

Thank you, Amphianda, for sharing your story and for allowing me to share it here, as well.

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I was 15 years old and I had stopped believing in God. I was in an existential angst… very depressed. Thought often about suicide. I was so unhappy that I would try to feel better by writing in my journal …But for a while I found that only one sentence came out of me… that sentence proved later to be very important. It was “I WANT TO GO HOME”. I would daily or weekly sit down to write in my journal … but each time, all that would end up coming out was I WANT TO GO HOME. Now, you must try to understand… I didn’t even really know what I meant when I wrote that. I felt very uncomfortable in my life and in my own home with my parents. All I knew is that I wanted to go someplace that felt like home. It was the most futile feeling to write those words, they were born out of deep despair…but it was also my most authentic feeling. The feeling of wanting home, and deep love and acceptance. To be adored by a loving family. That kinda thing. At this time in my life (and throughout my entire scholastic career, I was a D and F student, was put in special education classes, etc. I felt that my prospects were very bad. I felt like a failure. Life felt too hard.
I hated school. And there was such dysfunction in my upbringing and family that I found school to be impossible to take seriously or focus on… I was in constant anxiety there. One day I found myself feeling quite depressed and tired in 2nd period history class. I didnt feel sick. Just a little “Off”. I decided to ask to see the nurse… Really only because I wanted to get out of school, not because I thought I was actually sick. So I did see the nurse… she took my temperature, and then she totally freaked out. She said “Oh my god, you have a fever of 105!

Years later I found out that 105 is the point where brain death starts to occur) Well… I was just as surprised as the nurse when she told me I had a very high fever. My step-mother (whom I did not have a good relationship with) came to pick me up and take me home early. I went into my bedroom and laid down. I still didn’t feel sick. I just felt tired. So I started to drift off. But instead of sleep I entered into a state of delirium… half awake half dreaming… fitful. In this state, nothing was making sense and everything was very confusing. And at some point I heard and felt what seemed to be helicopters over my house, hovering very close. It was loud and vibratory. Buzzing. (later I learned this state is well known and commonly occurs before an OBE). Then … all went silent and I found myself in blackness, warm, comfortable and traveling through water, through a tunnel. The tunnel was black, and I could breathe in the water. At some point, a light appeared ahead of me. The light in my NDE was NEVER bright as other describe. It was very gentle. As I emerged from the tunnel I found myself standing in a gentle river, or stream, in the middle of a beautiful very lush green forest. There was no sun in this world, instead it was as if everything in the forest was lit from within itself. Everything had its own inner light. Very gentle.
As I stood in that stream a profound awakening occurred and it was all at once… All of what I am about to say happened almost all at one once. I remembered this place… deeply. It was HOME… No doubt about it. It was as if my earthly life had been a dream and this forest and river was my true home, and I just was waking up from a very long strange dream. And with that there was profound knowledge… things I instantly knew or remembered about life and its purpose… (I kept saying to myself “OH MY GOD! OF COURSE! ITS SO SIMPLE! HOW IN THE WORLD COULD I EVER HAVE FORGOTTEN??? THIS HAS ALWAYS BEEN HERE!) I knew how totally INNOCENT and deeply treasured and loved I really am/was. How beautiful I was. How important I was. Valuable. And as I looked at the events of my life I felt gratitude and deep love and appreciation for ALL OF IT…. the good and bad. It was all so totally astonishingly perfect. If you felt and saw what I did it would bring you to your knees with awe and weeping.
It was absolutely amazing. And I saw that FEAR was the reason for all the suffering. It was quite simple. It was so perfect too. And at one point I asked about or thought about my relationship with my stepmother. She had been quite psychologically abusive to me, or I experienced it as abusive. She resented having to raise me. She was very threatened of me and my relationship with my father. Anyway… I was shown instantly or could see that her own life she had been similarly abused… and all I could feel then was deep understanding compassion and love for her. It all made sense. I found myself admiring her, for all she had struggled with and been through in her life. And I saw that she treated me badly because of fear, But I couldn’t ever really be harmed by it. And then I saw clearly how it is exactly the same for ALL OF US. We are all afraid, and its ALL OKAY.  But we don’t NEED to ever ever ever be afraid. Fear is so totally not needed.

Question: Wow. I do have a question though, did you have a better relationship with your step mom after your return? Did your love/ acceptance for her enable her to give it back ? Just wondering.. And hoping. ❤

Answer:  My NDE did not change my stepmother, so in a sense the relationship never improved. But I guess I no longer took her behavior and attitude towards me personally. And there was love between she and I. But it was a complex sort of love. Its as if my “karma” (and I don’t really like that word … ) with her was healed or finished. And within a year she and my father divorced, so she exited my life experience after that. I am forever grateful that she was a part of my life, because she gave me a lot of things (not material) that I value in myself now. I feel a lot of love for her, and gratitude.

Question: (AngelicView: in essence, referring to the need to reincarnate if life’s lessons aren’t learned but longing to go home.)

Answer:  In my NDE I saw nothing so crude as having to keep coming back, etc. There is no failure. I saw love and understanding, only. We all feel alienated here on earth. Its just part of the experience. You’re doing nothing wrong, nothing whatsoever.

Also, it may be helpful to know that, at least in MY NDE, I was given the understanding that time is an illusion… and I felt pretty certain that past lives are not quite what we have been taught they are. If other lives are indeed being lived by us, they are happening ALL AT ONCE in reality. There is no past or future. Just the eternal now, and oneness. So maybe if we are all truly ONE, than it makes sense that past lives are actually ALL OF OUR LIVES. We ALL live them, because we are in reality ONE SPIRIT (One spirit… living numerous lives).

Question: Did you receive shareable information or knowledge on how to let go of fear? Did you understand/comprehend how to let go of fear? How would you explain to others the process of choosing life without fear?

Answer: It’s more that the NDE and the knowledge I gained ERASED fear. Like… I understood all the reasons for it. It was so clear how totally unnecessary fear is. Because we are actually ALWAYS SAFE AS CAN BE. We are safe because we are perpetually loved, We are safe because we cannot ever be harmed, we are safe because we never die. The best advice I can give you is to TRUST more… in life. Practice trust. Practice letting go, and letting God. Practice free-falling a little bit more. When I came back from my NDE I had ZERO fear about anything. And as a result my grades shot up, like overnight, to A’s and B’s. Fear had been the thing that kept me from performing well in school. I was taken out of special ed. I was put in higher level classes. It was pretty miraculous. I lived in a state of total and utter trust and joy. When you feel that happy with WHAT IS, you stay perfectly PRESENT because the present moment feels fantastic. When you feel perfectly safe you tend to be more present to life. And that presence was miraculous… Presence brings total magic into your life, or you are able to see the magic of life when you are present. Things just roll along perfectly. Beautifully.

Also… Guilt and fear are often one and the same… a lot of us in this world feel immense shame for all kinds of stuff. In my NDE I was shown that there is nothing for any of us to ashamed of. Tell yourself: I AM INNOCENT. We carry a lot of baggage and we just don’t need to.

Question: Thank you for sharing that… can you describe with more details the landscape that you “saw”? They say it is similar to what we have here on Earth but “more perfect”. Did you have this sensation too? Did you get to see constructions?

Answer: It was very beautiful, but the truth is… The realizations/remembrance I had there eclipsed all else… The landscape was not what I was focused on… It was the amazing information that I was in rapture with. I did however try to walk to the river bank… I remember really wanting to just stay there and explore. But as soon as I was about to put my foot on the bank of the river to climb out of the water I heard “NO” and I was swiftly going backward again, back through the tunnel. I woke up on my bed at that point. I have since heard that there can often be BOUNDARIES in these realms that we may not be allowed to cross… for whatever the reasons.

Question: I was just wondering if you were very upset right at first when you were brought back to your body? Did it take some time to process it all?

Answer: No in my case I was in a state of absolute awe and gratitude. Had I been given a choice I likely would have wanted to stay there… I think. But I was changed in such a way that I saw my life as Amphi as totally BEAUTIFUL… I was just deeply overjoyed and peaceful to know that I was loved so much, that we are eternal… That there was nothing to fear,.. and I stayed in that place of deep joy, presence and gratitude for a few solid months. It was an AMAZING time for me. Truly magical. Almost as good as the NDE, honestly.

Question: Did you get the sense that all this, that we consider ‘reality’, is not anything more than an illusion?

Answer: YES… but it is a useful illusion. I was very grateful for my time on earth when I saw from the non-physical perspective.

Question:  I am very environmentally conscious, but lately, I’ve been wondering if this is all an illusion, perhaps I shouldn’t be so concerned about it. Am I wasting my time working to improve the environment? Thanks.

Answer: I don’t think you’re wasting your time… UNLESS it doesn’t make you feel fulfilled or happy. If you’re doing it out of fear anger or guilt, than you definitely don’t need to be doing it. Its a sort of waste of time If you’re doing out of obligation only. Now if you’re doing it because it gives you a deep sense of satisfaction, joy and love, than its VERY good… its your correct path (this is my opinion, obviously) I sometimes also think that illusion may not be exactly the right word, but I don’t have a better word right now… It comes pretty close.

Question: I’d like to ask you not about fear, but a life full of pain — emotional pain and subsequent depression.

Answer: I feel deeply that I should tell you to pray for guidance. i have also struggled with this my whole life. It seems too simple for me to tell you that emotional pain is still FEAR. It is, but I realise that wont help you to hear that right now. Imagine yourself refreshed, happy and light-hearted… And pray for those feelings to grow within you. Our prayers are DEFINITELY heard. We are NEVER alone or ignored.

Question: Hearing about nature on the other side fills me with hope. I do care so deeply about this web of life we have on this planet it is like I see the expression of god in every little thing. Seeing plants and animals suffer and whole ecosystems destroyed is nearly unbearable for me. It causes me so much pain not being able to protect it all. The idea of having to watch another 40 years of massive loss of wilderness, biodiversity and unspoilt air and water seems too much to bear. If you have any ideas on this I would be gratefull.

Answer: I know this may be very hard to reconcile… But the truth is, everything is really okay. Animals and forests… everything goes back to a blissful happy healing source. Its all interconnected. And despite how it appears on earth, the cycle of life is ON PURPOSE. Should we try to do no harm? Yes, of course. But we also cant really blame those who do harm… and also those parts of ourselves and others that are ignorant. God doesn’t want us to run around, stressed out, angry or sorrowful all the time about injustice in the world. God encourages us to ACCEPT WHAT IS, and LOVE ALL OF IT. Very difficult to do, I understand. But even if we cant do this, that’s also totally understood, too. You see?

When I came back from my NDE I loved everyone equally… but my love was far from “impersonal”. I loved everything. I could look at a scene that others would recoil from, or judge as “bad” and see deep beauty and perfection in it. And I feel that is the KEY to this whole thing. SEE BEAUTY. EVERYWHERE. In Everyone, and in every circumstance. Be PRESENT. Try to understand that its not just me, hundreds of other NDE’s say the same thing: EVERYTHING IS PERFECT… and the fact that it IS PERFECT always astonishes us. Because our perspective before the NDE was so bland and full of problems. Yet, that’s not the reality. That is a faulty perspective. You are welcome to choose the path that calls to you, for it does call to you for a reason. But imagine if you could stop judging ANYTHING as good or bad? What if you just were you, in the moment, much like you were at your happiest as a child? Just doing your thing. Its good and beautiful to feel compassion…. Yes yes yes. But if its turned from compassion to more negative gnawing feelings, it might be time to move to a new perspective. This stuff is very hard to talk about and convey… But yet it IS what I saw in my NDE. Everything’s really okay, and its going to continue to be okay. And there is nothing wrong with imagining the outcome you want to see, rather than the tragedy you are afraid will come to pass. Our thoughts do have power. Focus and beautiful outcomes. Let this sink in: NOTHING CAN EVER TRULY BE HARMED.

A natural side effect of deeply accepting WHAT IS…. Is Presence and LOVE which in turn causes you as a person to be peaceful and to do less harm, and the people around you also are deeply touched by your presence… You end up influencing the world by bringing PEACE to yourself. There is no “other”. So bring peace to yourself… You bring peace to the entire world. There really is no other method that will work. It is truly up to each of us, and only us. We don’t get to force others to be better. What they are doing is really, in many many ways, none of our business. Our business is looking within and becoming more present. All the rest, the love, the compassion, the cessation of fear, comes as a natural side effect of presence. That’s how a planetary consciousness is raised.