AngelicView: A suicide NDE with remarkable spiritual and universal insights.
The fact of the matter is that I died, I remember feeling my heart slow down until it stopped, at that moment my eyes closed. Not more then what seemed a second later I could see again. It was as if I had stepped through my eyelids.
I sat up and was in awe at how clear everything appeared. I had worn glasses or contacts my entire life so I was amazed at the sharpness of the room around me and the vividness of the colors. I could perceive an energy surrounding everything. The books, desk, furniture of the room all seemed to a slight glow that radiated from them. No sooner had I noticed this then I realized I could see 360 degrees around me. I didn’t need to turn my head I just looked and I saw. There behind me lay my body and at that moment I realized I had died.
At the moment of realization I saw a light come from the doorway. As I stared into it, the room seemed to be blown away and I was in another realm. At first all I perceived was a vast area that I knew somehow extended into infinity. The area was lighted but the source of the illumination I couldn’t see. The entire universe was of the richest deepest dark purple I had ever seen. At that moment I realized that all of my senses were heightened, I could hear silence. There was no noise but I was hearing something. Perhaps it was the “existence” of this universe it was alive. I was breathing but not, instead of air I felt a living force flowing through me. I felt as though I was swimming in the very Essences of Love.
As I moved through this space, I became aware of others around me. There was no one I knew, but I sensed other beings. Soon I saw them as small golden orbs of light, each separate, an individual. Yet, they were all linked by a thin thread. They extended out far as I could see in my mind I knew that each and everyone was connected and joined with what I believed was God.
It is important to note here that I never heard voices, rather words seemed to enter my mind as immediately as I perceived something. It was like a running narration in a film. I was given answers to my questions before I could even ask. Almost immediately I knew I was not staying, this universe seemed to know my desired to understand life and the mysteries of why we are on this earth. It was going to tell me.
I became aware of other voices, the orbs or other souls around me I could hear them communicating to each other. There seemed to be cliques of orbs that were together. They spoke to one another about their lives on Earth and all they had perceived and felt. They shared not only in words, but in sharing the experience. If one orb couldn’t understand, it disappeared and then reappeared. The orb somehow went back to Earth and experienced that “life” to further understand. I understood that here time did not exist and these being could manifest themselves at any time on Earth they desired. These orbs or rather “souls” would leave this realm and detach themselves with this universe and return to the universe of our Earth. There they would live and die, then return and share the experience with all the other souls. A soul that could not understand the experience could go and live that life also to experience that life. I learned we have many lives, past, present and future.
These souls, our souls cannot experience certain things like pain, sorrow, hatred, and anger. Though these are negative things, it was important for them to understand and experience them. Perhaps to understand the motivations of human beings, or (and I believe this in my heart) to eventually evolve into a being like God – all knowing and understanding.
At this time things appeared to me, answers to other questions. I could see concepts as if they were entities. I could understand for the first time in my life E=MC2. I learned that our universe is one of many. It is like a Petri dish. Designed with its own rules to raise a specific being. In this case, to raise beings like humans. Each Universe had its own specific laws of Physics. I now realize that the amount of information a soul must learn is vast, more so then we can possibly imagine here.
The next concept or rule I learned is that God can never be proved by scientific means. To do so would corrupt the environment. It would destroy faith. When we have faith we seek, we learn. If God were to appear before us like a huge being at the United Nations, the entire world would believe, but also live in fear. To successfully experience the human existence, one must be physically out of touch with God. We have to learn and seek on our own. We need to search out the meaning of our own existence and experience here on earth. Faith is the engine of discovery. Without faith, we are just like ants.
I learned why bad things happen to good people. If nothing bad ever happened to us we would all basically be the same. It is like metal in a forge you have to heat it and strike it repeatedly to make a useful tool from it. We start this life with a blank piece of paper. With every incident we experience, a part of the blueprint is recorded until a complete plan for an individual is created. The end of our lives is dictated by this blueprint. To live happily in this realm is to become aware of the blueprint and change it.
Lastly, time is only a concept measured here. In the other realm it doesn’t exist. So while we may experience pain and sorrow on earth, it is only a second in the grand scheme of things. We have an eternity to live and in reality, souls never really die. Our life is just a thought providing circumstances for this existence. As the soul progresses, this trauma is forgotten and put in its proper perspective as part of the learning process.
One question I always personally had and that was answered is, “Are ghosts real?” The answer I was given was, “Yes, in the human body their are two forms of spiritual being. One is the “soul” which is the spiritual being that has a symbiotic relationship with the physical body. The second is the being created by the “biology” of the human body. This being is intelligent and is basically the personality of the individual. Its purpose is to provide for the human needs of food, hunger, survival, and procreation. This concept is very similar to Freud’s “Id, Ego and Superego” The division of mind and personality. The soul provides us with all the things of the individual that separates us from the Animal Kingdom. This is the ability to reason, use logic, or feel awe when seeing a sunset. The soul is the creative side of humankind. The second being is more our animal side and drives us to accomplish or pursue things to satisfy our needs and wants.
When we die, the soul separates and proceeds to the other side (Forgive me for simplifying everything). The entity of the body, dies taking with it the strong emotions, “baggage”, and drives of human beings. This is a natural part of the dying process. However, sometimes under violent or sudden death this Other/being, for lack of a better word, doesn’t have a chance to die. Instead it remains behind as the drive, emotions, and motivation of our spirit. This body being, without the guidance of the soul is basically just a shell. It wanders about with no goals or purpose. It often repeats acts that it has done before because memories are the only “guidance” that it has. In time, this being’s energy dissipates and nothing is left. But that process can take along time. Hence, we have a “ghost” that haunts a house or person. A ghost has the center of its existence when it was with its human body and soul. Here on earth it remains until it eventually vanishes. The ghost can be communicated with and guided, yet has no real will of its own but only that of habit.
As the questions and answers ended, I felt myself fall. With a jerk, I was back in my own body. My eyes opened back to my own world. Only scant minutes passed, but it seemed like an eternity.