AngelicView: This man was wondering about the meaning of life, researching on the internet for some answers and he’s getting to the point of “brain overload” where things are just not really “computing” anymore, when he seems to start out having a kundalini experience, and transcends into a full-blown OBE (Out of Body Experience) where he is given the answers he is seeking. (Originally submitted in Swedish and translated to English.)
I had for a couple of months begun to seek God and the meaning of life. I researched daily, several hours, on the internet about everything from evolution to theories of creation.
At the point of time when I had my experience I had become more and more convinced that an intelligence laid behind everything that exists in the universe. I was, however, afraid of God, judgment, punishment and eternal doom after death, probably because I under my entire childhood had a father who was a member of Jehovah´s Witnesses who have minted my view on God and religion.
This was a late afternoon in spring, around Mar/April year 2010 and I was located at my middle brother´s house to be a babysitter for his three year old son, as my brother was at a friend’s house. I sat at the computer searching on Google about Christianity and particularly Jesus, as I had been given a speck of hope that I would not be doomed because I didn’t want to be a Jehovah´s Witness. This was because a friend of mine at the Pentecostal church had explained to me that Jesus had already taken the punishment for my past and future sins. I thought this sounded fantastic, but too good to be true. Under my entire uprising I had been given a picture of a harsh and demanding God through my father.
I was confused and tired of all the searching and felt genuinely up given because it felt difficult for me to believe in a forgiving God. So I prayed a desperate prayer there at my brother’s house as his child had fallen asleep. I prayed for forgiveness and wisdom. I wanted to know who God really was. Nothing happened and I once again sat down in front of the computer and looked trough some Christian websites and forums, my head was completely empty like a zombie because of all my brooding.
After around 20 to 30 minutes I started to feel my feet vibrating. I thought they had just fallen asleep but the vibrations slowly moves from my feet up up through my calves, knees, and up to my hip before turning around and moving down to the feet again. This was repeated a handful of times but the last times it didn’t stop at my hips but moved upwards to the gut and chest where it stopped and that was when it all really began. From here on it is a bit difficult to explain in words what I experienced but I’ll do my best.
When it reaches my chest it feels like my whole body spasms. I grab the armrests on the chair and my eyes fall shut, I think, or maybe I just lost contact with the world around me. It suddenly felt like an extremely powerful storm of light, warmth, indescribable love and absolute peace fully and literally blows trough my inner being. I become aware of a sort of shapeless light inside my chest that just perfectly screams out love into my body making me I feel almost like I’m going to break.
Here on after it all becomes hard to describe as what I experienced didn’t happen in any particular order or in a linear timeframe. I can at least describe it as good as possible with words and metaphors, even though I perceived all that I describe as happening all at once, independent of time. With my consciousness I fly into my brothers bedroom where his son lies asleep in the large bed. I stroke him across the head with an incredible love inside me that is impossible to describe! Thereafter I float in the nothingness, an infinite, bright emptiness.
What I experience is not visual as we perceive the world with our physical eyes, but it is rather like I am aware of everything and ‘see’ with my heart, which is much clearer! What we call ‘sight’ that we perceive with our eyes is very limited in comparison. I become surprised over the immense peace I am feeling, totally liberated from fear, anguish, worries, stress, brooding, physical pain and discomfort. I just AM
I’m feeling light as a feather. I feel a presence that I afterwards will describe as God. This presence is indescribable and the love I feel overwhelming. If I had felt this in my physical body, in the ordinary physical world, I would have fallen down on the ground and cried out rivers! This presence shows me things and communicates with feelings, not words or telepathy, but feeling is the closest way to describe it! Perfect, ultimate communication!
I feel and become aware of that this love/God has always been with me, every second of my life. Felt my feelings, watched over me and loved me without limit and that it would always be like that! I have nothing to fear! I feel that this God is one with me and I, one with God. I become aware that I consist of God just like everyone else. I had my entire life been subconsciously searching for God, safety and help and I had now became aware that he had always been with me, helped me and had been making sure I made it. This has God done trough other people in my surroundings, spoken to me through the entire creation. God IS everything that exists and communicates with us with the help of absolutely everything. Trough other people, nature, internet, EVERYTHING! I just hadn’t understood it or seen it! Now however it is so clear and logical as I during this moment are in perfect harmony and unity with God.
I am given visions where I ’see’ nature, trees, animals and I am aware of every little vein in the trees, every muscle in the animals and I see total perfection and intelligence in everything! In this state there is no doubt that something like randomness does not exist. I AM God! I AM the creation and the whole universe seems so logical and clear! How come that I didn’t realize this earlier! We are all God and of the same spirit. We are all one! Further on I am given a vision of Earth, the size of a basketball where it is positioned one decimeter from my eyes.
I see like a spiritual veil around earth that somehow prevents people from remembering what they really are! I was now free, outside of my personal bubble and this ‘veil’ around Earth represents a kind of humanities own ‘bubble’. I see how unaware people are about the fact that they are actually inside God. It feels in this state so absurd that so many people doesn’t even believe in anything more than science and matter, as they pretty much running around in Gods hand (Earth) fighting wars, misbehaves and goes into conflict right in front of Gods face who time after time humbly asks for everyone’s attention just to tell them all magnificent and unconditionally loved they are and that everything is OK.
I feel the universe as one big consciousness. Gods consciousness. The materia and the physical world is just an illusion! In this state it feels like I have awaken from a dream. This state is knife sharp, strong and bright compared to the physical reality. The physical reality is like a NIGHTMARE in comparison. A DREAM if you were to compare its level of reality.
I am given visions of preachers and churches and feel that it has nothing to do with God at all! These clothe, symbols and buildings are really completely unimportant. This goes for all religions. God has no religion! I understand that there are a little piece of God in all religions but that religions are ’contaminated’ by human thoughts and feelings. There are no devil or similar. It would be absurd to believe that this God I was now experiencing would allow something like a devil. It is a human invention I realize. Neither are there any punishment or judgment in the afterlife, only wonderful love and light if we just allow ourselves to it. I get to see who God is: simple and unconditional love.
God is not complicated and feelings like anger, jealousy, envy, reprimands, punishment, demands, rules, suspiciousness and ‘as you make your bed, so will you sleep’ is not a part of Gods being. I get to see that life is only about loving everything and everyone, from atoms to blue whales, without any demanding or fear! That is the simple but wonderful purpose and nature with life and God! Just to be and love, not least yourself, unconditionally! But people in the physical world are having it hard to accept this and not least, realize that they themselves are worth all the love in the world. People make their lives complicated and hard trough diversions and fear!
God is always with us, every second of our lives, fully dedicated and we are never alone! God is within us all and experience and feel everything that we feel in our lives. God is a state, Love! Every time we commit an act of love against another being that is God working trough us towards… God!
All this I experienced at the same time.
I was then back in my computer chair, stunned.
I realized that God is absolutely everything. God is everyone and works through us all. He is life and existence in general. Nothing exists that is separated from God. I realized that God is only love, totally uncomplicated and completely unconditionally. God loves absolutely everything that exists and feelings such as wrath, judgment, demands, punishment, jealousness and envy is not in Gods being at all.
I also realized that there is no evil opposite to god such as ‘Satan’ or the devil. I became aware that life on earth is about LOVING everything and everyone in the creation including yourself. Nothing else! That is the only so simple but so wonderful truth, but this is so hard for us humans to understand when we are in our bodies. We humans make everything so complicated and we are not able to feel ourselves worthy who God really is. The human believes this is ‘too good to be true’ and therefor has to take complicated and difficult detours in life which makes it harder than what it needs to be.
I learned that our religions has a tiny bit of God in them, but are contaminated by human thoughts and feelings which makes people misunderstand God and can if things goes bad become afraid. There is no ‘right’ way to God and no religion has a monopoly on God.
The experience felt profoundly more real and sharper than this reality we are in when on this physical earth in our physical bodies. It was like waking up from a dream! A few days afterwards I even felt a bit depressed and lost as I felt alone in having received this knowledge, amongst all the people around me. Alone amongst so many ‘sleeping’ people! The only thing I wanted was to get ‘home to god’ and the love where I felt I belonged but this faded after a while and I found my way back to the everyday world. 3 months later I got a daughter and life continued in full speed. Today I have read about a lot of other similar experiences and I recognize so much in them, which confirms the reality of my experience even more.
Love to all of you!