“It isn’t like we come here with an “Idiot’s Guide to Earthly Living” or anything”


AngelicView: NDE from a physician where she felt as though she was away from her Earthly body for a very long time – like weeks, months, or eons – and she was able to relax and recuperate from her physical life before coming back. Thanks to Gillian for sharing your experience ūüôā

…My next recollection is being in a vast, seemingly endless, space filled with brilliant white light.¬†¬†I recall no limits on perception – no binocular vision, but panoramic/spherical/360 – hard to describe.¬†¬†¬†I spent what¬†¬†seemed like a long time – certainly not minutes, hours, or days.¬†¬†More like weeks, months, eons.¬†¬†Time was meaningless.¬†¬†¬†

I was with a group of beings that I felt I had known for a very long time.¬†¬†¬†Seems like more than 12 and less than 25 (beings).¬†¬†¬†I have a vague recollection of having my Earthly experiences “downloaded”, and having a great reunion with these beings, and a great period of relaxation/recuperation. ¬†Communication was non-verbal and instantaneous.¬†¬†It involved relaying entire occurrences, concepts, and events with associated emotions, not just words and sentences.¬†¬†

Eventually a consensus was reached that I should return to the the life I had left as it was unfinished.¬†¬†I don’t recall how I appeared, but recall how the other beings appeared as I departed from them – Brilliant jewel bright points of scintillating light.¬†¬†Only two colors, though – emerald green and deep purple.¬†¬†(Weird – why not all colors?).¬†¬†¬†I recall them receding into the distance. ¬†¬†

The next memory is being a point of consciousness hovering.¬†¬†I don’t recall any sound.¬†¬†I was back to having binocular vision and my entire field of vision was taken up by what I eventually realized was a “face”.¬†¬†¬†I recall pondering the significance of this “thing”, and eventually rainbow_eyerealized it was a being, but recall feeling pity for “it”¬†¬†and perceiving it as child-like.¬†¬†¬†I watched a little longer and suddenly had the realization that the eyes of the thing were “green” and that they looked familiar.¬†¬†¬†I then felt a sense of compassion as I recognized it was suffering.¬†¬†I recall the eyes staring and mouth being open.¬†¬†¬†(I seem to recall an oxygen mask, but not real certain about that).¬†¬†¬†With the feeling of compassion, came an instantaneous sense of connection and I was suddenly wrenched back into the body and the memory of who “I” was and the circumstances of where I was returned.¬†

It was a very rapid transition.¬†¬†I could hear again, and could hear the medical staff yelling orders.¬†¬†¬†I was drenched in sweat and felt awful and very weak and hurt all over (later learned I had had seizure activity).¬†¬†I recall a bald-headed man leaning over me.¬†Someone else to my right yelled “do you have epilepsy” and I turned my head and told them “no”.¬†¬†¬†Someone on my left was fumbling under my gown trying to put on defibrillator pads, then asked “should I take them off”.¬†¬†Someone else said “No, we may lose her again”.¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†

At some point I recall starting to cry and asking them “why did you bring me back to this place.¬†¬†It was so nice there.¬†¬†Everyone was so nice and loved each other.¬†¬†It was so beautiful.¬†¬†Why did you have to bring me back here, etc?”¬†¬†¬†Those nearby seemed to hear me and seemed shocked, but remained professional, as I recall.¬†¬†I was quiet for a while processing what I remembered of the experience while they worked.¬†¬†I recall eventually asking them not to tell my husband that I didn’t want to come back.¬†¬†I’m quite sure they though I was an ungrateful lunatic, but they were relieved I was alive.

~¬†You don’t have the paradigm to make the translation unless you have been there, I suspect.¬†¬†¬†Once there,¬†¬†there is no way to associate some aspects of the experience with “normal consensual reality” on this side.¬†¬†No interface or correlation.

~¬†I would say that the part I recall the most distinctly was the point of withdrawing from my “friends”.¬†¬†¬†¬†In that state, I believe I was my true, eternal self, not the mortal self that I am as I type this, which is a small subset of my “true self”.¬†¬†(Words can’t express, and it is just soAnIndividualPerspective bizarre !)…. ¬†As my disembodied self, I had greater degree of perception – visual, mental, conceptual. ¬†And communication was telepathic and instantaneous.¬†¬†Communication was in entire concepts. ¬†You did not have to convey a story one abstract at a time, but could just “plop” the entire occurrence into another’s consciousness – complete with the sensory input at the time and the associated mental and emotional gestalt.¬†

~¬†I felt intense joy and happiness in the disembodied state in the white light.¬†There was a sense of “I”, but I was also a part of a group consciousness, and that was blissful.¬†¬†¬†I don’t recall a lot of other emotions.¬†¬†Certainly no sorrow, guilt or regrets. ¬†¬†

In the out of body hovering state, I recall mostly a clinical detachment, almost a cold/emotionless assessment of what I was perceiving.¬†¬†At least initially, I felt no sense of connection to the “thing” I was studying.¬†

~ Everywhere was brilliant white light.  Not dazzling or painful to behold, but very bright.  The beings I re-united with appeared to be points of colored light Рlike emeralds and deep purple amethysts lit by a brilliant light which radiated outward from within.

~¬†Beings encountered were intelligent points of consciousness with which I seemed to have had a prior long-term relationship.¬†¬†¬†¬†We seemed to be like a group mind, but yet separate individuals.¬†¬†More like we were united in a common purpose and came to decisions by consensus.¬†¬†¬†It was wonderful to experience the reunification.¬†¬†Yet looking back, the setting where we existed was very simple.¬†¬†There was only the white light everywhere.¬†¬†No other additions to the backdrop except the beings.¬†¬†¬†We were highly intelligent and had vast stores of knowledge, but were as uncomplicated (and as incomplete????) as our environment.¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†I’m not sure that we had “free will”.

~¬†I encountered beings, but there was no sense that I had any mutual relationship to them while on Earth.¬†¬†I do not think they were relatives or any known historical figures.¬†¬†¬†More like they were my “real family and friends from long ago (before Earth) and we were reunited.

~¬†I have shared my experience with colleagues despite the fact that it could result in professional criticism or concerns about my sanity and ability to practice medicine.¬†¬†¬†¬†In fact they have been amazingly supportive and have been quite open to discussing the possibility of life after “death”. ¬†¬†

The whole experience (my first hospitalization, procedures, etc) has made me a better doctor.   

The NDE has made me a better person.  I have less fear overall, and feel that I can nowAngel78 experience a different level of material existence, now that the fear of death has been laid to rest.

~¬†Don’t “sweat the small stuff”, because in the big scheme of things, much of our reality is “small stuff” and we are here to learn.¬†¬†¬†Don’t beat yourself (or others) up for mistakes.¬†¬†It isn’t like we come here with an “Idiot’s Guide to¬†¬†Earthly Living” or anything.¬†¬†We figure it out (or not) as we go along.

~ It seemed as real as everyday life experience.  Not unreal or dreamlike.   The problem is that some aspects do not translate from there to here, so some parts seem vague.

~¬†I am a scientist at heart.¬†¬†I am aware that nothing in my experience is “provable” using the Scientific Method.¬†¬†¬†But it sure seems like the recollection of a real memory.¬†¬†If it was not real, then how can I have certainty that any of THIS existence is real?

~¬†Once, during childhood, I was quite ill with a fever.¬†¬†I recall having a vivid “dream” where I had total surround 360 spherical perception.¬†¬†I was encompassed/embraced by a seemingly very powerful, but loving entity, like I was a beloved child.¬†¬†I recall being surrounded by darkness and being shown various incredible and wonderful things.¬†¬†I had perceptions/senses that I do not have in this body.¬†¬†I recall crying when I woke up because I had lost so many abilities by being “here”.¬†¬†¬†I have forgotten many of the details over the 50 or so years since then, but¬†¬†I have never forgotten that memory of total love and acceptance and being cherished.


2 thoughts on ““It isn’t like we come here with an “Idiot’s Guide to Earthly Living” or anything”

  1. Thank you so much for that beautiful re telling of your experience. I am reading ‘ Dying to be Me ‘ by Anita Moorjani at the moment , she also had a very incredible NDE in 2006 , I expect you have heard of her. I am so glad you are sharing your nde with the medical community , I understand this takes courage and I applaud you , much love Pam

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