My Journey with the Light

AngelicView: Thanks to Cristael for sharing this beautiful NDE. At one point she says that a being gave her a hate-filled glance. I wasn’t sure why that happened! lol… the rest is very beautiful. Thanks Cristael! 🙂

Dancing In The Moonlight

About a week prior to the experience I had been to a birthday party for my preschool grandson, where I had been exposed to another little boy who was coming down with the flu that was going around. To my recollection, this was in December of 1998.  

Then I got the flu a day or two later, and it just didn’t go away. It kept on getting worse and worse, until I had a fever that was so agonizing that even the touch of a sheet against my skin was excruciating. I kept having muscle spasms that arched my back. The pain of those spasms was worse than anything I’d ever had.  

I kept on going deeper and deeper, trying to find a place in my mind where I could get away from the pain, where it would just stop. 

And then I found myself rising up out of my body into a world that was total blackness. There was nothing there, just blackness all around me. I was floating, moving through that blackness, scared of the fact that there was nothing under me to keep me from falling. Then I looked down and I saw I was seated on a big rug, a la Aladdin.  

Ahead of me, I saw many square rafts, with 100 human figures seated cross-legged on each raft. They were all bald and bluish in color, dressed in draped bluish robes, like Roman or Greek robes. One of them gave me a hate-filled glance that shocked me.

 As the bluish rafts of human figures moved on into the far distance, I saw a great opening ahead of me in the blackness. It was bigger that anything on Earth, and I felt very tiny as I went through the opening.  

I went down what felt like the long main aisle in a cathedral that had all the lights off. The darkness was so thick I could feel it brushing against me. I looked down at my body and I noticed that I had turned into a sphere of blue and multicolored light. At the time that seemed perfectly okay. Perfectly reasonable.  

I kept on looking around, trying to make sense of all this, and hearing my mother beg me to come up and stay with ‘us’. I got rather annoyed with my mother. This was only a case of flu, after all.  

Then I saw a light ahead of me, way far off in the distance. As it drew closer, it looked like a door on its side, with light spilling through it. Then a great Light sphere came through the door, and it got bigger and bigger. And I looked up at that Light and I thought, “”Everything up here is so bloody big!””  

The Light kept coming closer until it enveloped me. I was surrounded by waterfalls of Light, by rivers of Light, by oceans of Light that were all around me. I reached out and touched the Light with my hand (which grew out of the spherical me, especially for that purpose) and I was reassured. It was like touching a mother’s breast.  

I asked the Light, “”What’s happening here? What’s going on?””  

The Light parted, like stage curtains in front of me, and I saw a panoramic vista of buildings and parks and trees and flowers and beauty and so many things I could not comprehend or understand.  

“”Where am I?”” 

And the Light answered me, not in words but in thought-concepts. “”Now you are at the moment of beholding the Imperial Heaven, the heart of God, the great Master Awareness that overflows to create all that is.””  

Then I flowed down into the park and found myself in a garden with wide paths and flowers and an abundance of green growing things and trees. It was beautiful beyond all measure. A gentle floral scent filled the air.  

And I walked until I found myself inside a great hall. There was a golden Light at the center of the hall that was radiating fountains of light that rose and fell in endless liquid motions. And I touched the light with my hands and then I bowed my head and touched my forehead to it.  

And I was inside the Light, seeing everything in vivid Technicolor that had ever happened to me in my life.  

So much happened to me in this part of my experience, and I can’t remember all of it. Which is frustrating.  

But I saw my mother’s grief, and my grandmother’s love for me.  

And then I was back in front of that great Light, wondering what it was that was happening to me. And all of a sudden I realized that this was it. Right now, right this minute, I could die! 


And I wanted to stay so badly. The Light focused its attention on me, and asked me if there was anyone or anything that was holding me down on Earth. And then I saw a vision of my son coming into my bedroom, and finding his mother dead in her bed, without any warning at all. And I knew I had to go back. I could not let that happen to my son.  

And I spun down and landed back in my body, and the pain started up again. I cried out, “”Please help me! Please stop the pain!”” And I saw blue hands, praying hands, reaching down into my body and lifting out what looked like horrible black mucous.  

Then I passed out, and the next thing I remember was sitting up in bed with cold sweat pouring off me, thinking to myself, “”Oh good. The fever has broken.”” And it had.  

I healed up from that flu the fastest that I ever had, with only a bronchial cough left to show for it. And I was fuzzy and out of touch with the world for the next six months or so.

~  I felt like I was on ‘High Alert’. Looking all around me. Trying to figure out what was happening. Observing everything with intense awareness.

~  At first I was terribly puzzled, then frightened. I didn’t know what was happening. But when I was in the great tunnel, I felt peaceful and serene. And when I saw the great Light, I was curious, wanting to ask questions. When I went on my journey with the Light, I was greatly reassured. I was like a child, surrounded by Light and love. There was a sense of complete safety, of being completely understood.

~  The tunnel was like floating down the great aisle of an immense cathedral, with all the lights out. The darkness was so thick it was tactile. I could feel it, like dark silk against me, brushing against my face and arms and hands. It was immense.

~  The Light was enormous – bigger than the Great Pyramids of Egypt. Bigger than anything. It was spherical, and it had like great flowing golden caterpillars that flowed all over its surface. Those were made up of thought and information.

~  I telepathically got information that unfolded in my mind, like a series of flowers unfolding from the Light.

~  Much that I saw is still below my conscious memories of the experience. I keep getting more information all the time.

~  I became aware of my mother’s grief over not being able to have more children. I was an only child. I was aware of how much my grandmother loved me. She enjoyed teaching me how to sew and paint with oils.

~  Time simply wasn’t. It didn’t exist.

~  What I feel I had was a series of lessons in certain areas. Writing. Singing. Music. Other things I cannot remember. It was like being at a great University, but there was no one else around me. Only the Light.  Well, in specific areas I learned a lot in a very short period of time. More than I can remember.

~  I was being carried along inside the great Light, and I asked, ‘Where am I?’ I was astonished when I was told I was in the heart of the Creator. And then the white Light before me opened like curtains, and I flowed on down to a beautiful garden, where there were great white buildings all around. They were built in California Mission style, with white adobe-like walls and red tile roofs, all of them spread out and low to the ground. It was a beautiful setting.  

I was taken to a place where there was a great open space, with parquet floors. I walked across the floor to a great golden crystal in the center, as chimes sounded beneath my feet. (I had my human body at that time. It was very slender and youthful)  I came up to the crystal, and I placed my hands on it. Then I bowed my head and touched my forehead to the crystal, and I found myself inside the crystal, looking around at so many things that had happened during my life. Each facet of the crystal was telling its own story of my life and about all the people around me. Much more than I can remember now, which is frustrating.

~  After I had completed the trip to the University Campus with its golden crystal, the Light and I were suddenly back where we’d started.  

I asked, ‘What’s going on here?’ And then what would have been my stomach if I’d had a stomach (I was a very tiny sphere of bluish multi-colored light at that moment) flipped clean over, 360 degrees. And I realized that right here, right now, I could die.  

I clearly recall saying to that Light, ‘Wait a minute. Hold on. I’ve just finished writing up my goals and objectives for the next five years. Then breaking each year’s goals down into one year goals, and then writing the upcoming twelve months goals. And then turning this month’s goals into daily goals, and on down into my daily to-do’s. Like George Burns used to say, ‘I can’t die. I’m booked.’  Which did not really register with the Light. Out earthly time is not its long suit.  

Then I realized how much I wanted to stay up there. I was ready to go. But the Light sent me a thought-concept that said, ‘Is there anyone or anything that is holding you down on Earth?  

I found myself looking down from above in my bedroom, seeing my son coming into my room and finding his mother — totally unexpectedly — dead in her bed.  

And I knew I could not go up. So I looked up at the Light and I said, ‘NO WAY.’ I said that because I knew if I wasn’t definite, I would give in and just go. But I knew I could not leave my son alone, with the guilt trip of having his mother die and him not able to do anything about it. And not knowing why it had happened.  

So I said, ‘If I go now, I will feel incomplete. I have books to write. Music to sing. I have two sons, a wonderful daughter-in-law. A grandson that I want to see graduate from college.’  

And suddenly the Light zoomed off, faster than a jet airplane. I called after it, ‘Wait a minute.’ Just like Joan Rivers, I said, ‘Can we talk? I’ve got so many questions.’  

But I was falling down and down into my body, back into all that pain and sickness.

~  The University showed me that people go on learning after they go up there. As well as people who go up there. And many people attend classes there when they are asleep.

~  (Speaking about whether “God” exists) That was simply an ‘of course’ up there. There was no question about it.

~  (Speaking about whether a Mystical Universal Connection or Unity/Oneness exists) It was simply a part of the whole mystical world around me. It was all around, and it didn’t have to be talked about specifically. It just was.

The content as a whole was far more than I could digest. It was immense. I still don’t know what most of it was, but I know I am being guided.

It’s like this is burned into my consciousness. The memories are so clear. In fact, I can see the Light if I just tune into those memories before I go to sleep at night.

~  This was the experience that took away all my fear of death. Eleven years later, when my soon to be ex-husband and I were being counseled, the psychologist told my husband, ‘Your wife has a unique approach to living. She lives every moment of her life in active anticipation of her own death.’ And I still do.


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