AngelicView: In this NDE, the experiencer found himself in a higher frequency than his vibration would allow. He knew he could not stay where he was, and that the only way to stay in that level of bliss, he must come back to Earth and learn some more.
All I remembered was the sensation of almost being pulled into a vacuum that seemed like a tunnel. I could see lights flying by me as if I was traveling even when it felt like a vacuum at the same time. Then I emerged from the tunnel into an indescribable place of peace and tranquility. There was the most beautiful Being of White Light there. With the level of understanding I had at the time, I saw that he took on an image so that I could relate and feel comfortable but that his true essence was Light and Love.
He appeared to me as an older man with long gray hair and a beard. But what stood out above anything else was that he loved me unconditionally. The feeling of being in his presence was something that felt like I was “home”-in a sense that I had never known. I saw that my true essence was also this energy of love but as he reviewed my life with me, I received the understanding that I was the one who removed myself from the benefits and bliss of love by the anger I felt over some experiences I had had growing up. I saw how important it is to project feelings of love instead of the energy I was projecting through my emotions and feelings about life. I saw how others either benefit from my energy or they are negatively affected by it. I also came to an understanding that heaven isn’t a place you are admitted to but it is a frequency that you attain. Being in the presence of White Light was “heaven.” It was more than the greatest feeling I had ever experienced or dreamed was possible. Having that feeling again became what I wanted to strive for, not going to a place. The feeling, the energy I was experiencing became “the place.”
I understood that you take yourself with you everywhere you go. What must change in order to experience the higher frequencies of love, peace, joy, bliss and the tranquility I was a part of in that experience, is a person’s own consciousness. They must truly become what they want to have and be.
So I begged for the opportunity to go back and do just that. I only wanted to come back because I understood that my consciousness at the time didn’t mesh with the unconditional love I was experiencing. Therefore I knew that although it wasn’t intended as punishment, I couldn’t maintain that frequency that was allowing me to feel the bliss temporarily. I knew that somehow, I had to raise my vibration and become more loving in order to experience this indescribably love on a permanent basis. These are the concepts that are difficult to explain because it wasn’t conveyed to me in words. It was an understanding that spoke to me in a way that I could relate to. But it was never conveyed as judgment or with the intention of creating fear of punishment. This White Light wasn’t capable of anything but Love because that was truly the essence, 100% the vibration of what it was. To create fear of punishment would have reduced the vibration of love and that was impossible for this Being of True Love to do. With the insight I was given, I understood more about how things work and I wanted to do better, not out of fear but because of love.
It made so much sense over there and it seemed so easy. Then I “came to” in the hospital days later with the memory of that experience and the feeling that the life around me, the physical objects and things I could see, were very inconsequential and unimportant. This physical life I found myself back in could be compared to a speck of sand on the beach-just a very small part of something much bigger. Things that once had all of my focus and attention now seemed so tiny as I thought about the big picture. All I wanted to do was get back to where I had been during my death experience. I knew that to do that, I had to change.
What I found was that no one believed my experience and that made me angry and hurt. None of that had changed. My “buttons” were still easily pushed which made me realize that just because I had understood what I needed to do, it didn’t mean that I had brought back anything that was going to make it happen automatically. I felt very alone, confused yet still very driven to find a way to change.
I determined that I would keep my NDE to myself and just keep working until I found a way to change myself. It really took about 25 years of constant dedication to that purpose before I found a way to do it. I made slow progress over the years but I had some very deep seated wounds and anger that it seemed no amount of willpower and determination would help.
The more I studied the way the brain works, the way memories are stored and accessed, the power of the subconscious, the energetic system of the body etc., the more pieces came together for me. And thankfully, many new scientific studies have come out that have helped me discover a way to change something from what it is to what I would like it to be.
My experience was the catalyst that transformed me into a completely different person than what I was at the time of my NDE. It took about 30 years of trial and error and a lot of scientific discoveries, but I have finally developed the ability to feel love for everyone, no matter what they do. That is a place of power that I can now use to help others make positive changes in their lives and the world. Instead of feeling anger over corruption and dishonesty that I hear about in the news, I am able to create warm loving feelings and project that energy into the situation instead of fuming in anger. It’s not always instantly, but I can get there 100% of the time.
Now my goal has become to feel nothing but unconditional love all the time. I still have to do a little work to shift my frequency to love where I can feel the warmth of it in my heart on many occasions but I do eventually get there. So now I work on getting there quicker and staying there longer without being pulled into the energy that creates the challenges of everyday life.
That is the impact that my NDE and experience with the “White Light” had on my life. I am also no longer afraid of what people have to say about it. Sometimes I get “hate mail” from Christians who think it is evil to say I wasn’t judged and that I should consider that it was really the devil that I experienced. All I can say is that if the devil caused this impact on me, I Love the devil. People close to me know how my life has changed for the better and what it feels like to be around me now as opposed to then.
The experience completely changed my life. I no longer felt very “normal” because all I wanted to do was get back there as a much better person and higher frequency of energy-more loving. I have felt compelled to tell my story to help people in recent years. It’s as if I don’t have a choice. I just know in my heart that it is what I am supposed to do. I have worked to get over my fear and anger at some people’s assessment of my experience, which I have done. And now I have many wonderful comments from people encouraging me and assuring me that it has helped them. I now feel that this is an important part of what my life is about.
I received a different understanding of time and space. I saw the need to shift more to thoughts of energy or frequencies created through emotions about experiences. I saw that there is no time or space in that regard. Energy is connected and felt by others.
I KNEW it was real and nothing could ever convince me that it wasn’t. That has never changed. It is on my mind, I would guess in some way or another, every day. It was so real that it completely changed my life. I can’t live a “normal” life because I think differently and I am driven to find ways to help people have more peace and contentment in their lives-to have more love in the world. I have to tone down my explanation because I have found that it is very hard for many people to grasp. I want to use it to help people, not send them running away. I experienced that love so I am willing to sacrifice everything to have it again but it is difficult for others to have the same passion that I have. The way it has changed me is how I measure the reality of it. Along with that comes the pain of not being able to shout it from the rooftops and see others gain the same benefits. I am driven to help others but have to realize that it has to be in their own timing. I have chosen a challenging path because it is so real to me.
I have great difficulty having close relationships because I think so differently. I know that everything I do matters and is registered. I look at my experiences as opportunities to grow and increase my ability to love. Most people measure their experiences by things like how much money they made, how much something cost or how much fun they had. My mind is always someplace else and I pretty much keep my thoughts to myself unless I’m in a situation where I don’t make other people feel uncomfortable about themselves or their lives. I love to laugh and have a good time with friends but I want to spend most of my time growing myself or helping others grow.
My religion now is the art of loving and bringing the best out of others.
I have noticed a shift in the amount of interest I am getting about my experience. I think we are coming into a time when there is a spiritual awakening.