AngelicView: This is what we call a “Spiritually Transformative Event” (STE). An STE is an experience that does not fit neatly into a category of NDE or OBE. It’s something that happens to a person that’s paranormal in nature (I don’t like that word “paranormal”, because of the negative associations with it. But it is what it is…) that transforms their beliefs and their life.
I had been sent home from the hospital after a cardiac event with diagnosed pneumonia. I was resting propped up on pillows but I couldn’t breathe. I am not sure whether I lost consciousness or I was just in a deep sleep but I opened my eyes and saw a beautiful woman sitting on the edge of my bed, illuminated in softly glowing light. I could see her clearly and she seems real. For just a split second I wondered who she was but this thought was just a fragment because having her at my bedside seemed completely natural, normal and unsurprising. There was no sense of alarm. I just knew I didn’t know exactly who she was.
She communicated directly with my mind and I felt this incredible love for me. It still brings tears to my eyes when I think about it. It was the type of love that completely enveloped every part of me and every aspect of my soul. There was nothing left untouched by her love for me. Every worry, fear, even thought vanished.
Her eyes were so very kind and gentle. She was very close to me and reached over and touched my face with her hand, brushing my hair back, just as I had done many times to my own children when they were sick. I physically felt her touch my forehead and the sides of my face even though it was a slight, tender touch. Her message was very short. She told me that she was there to heal me and not to be afraid; that I was not alone and I would not get anything wrong. I did not recognize her but after she delivered that short message, she stood and looked down at me, smiled and just vanished, leaving an overwhelming feeling of peace, joy and love in her stead.
I remember thinking WOW and feeling incredibly light, unburdened and just comfortably relaxed — whole, is a better word, I guess. I felt whole inside. I went to sleep and slept the rest of the night. Because of the hyper-realness — the only way to express the experience — I remembered it in great detail the next morning and wrote it down almost immediately.
Every nanosecond of this experience imparted information to me. I learned so much from it and it forever changed how I view the world, people and my own personal experience of life.
Some of the concepts that I learned; for example, mistakes are not possible. It took some thought to understand. Some of the ideas expressed, I still don’t understand and are really difficult to state in words. Like the concept that the pure light that proceeds forth from “the Source” of energy contains a component of deepness, of contrast. That the contrast is experienced in mortality as duality (light vs. darkness). It was explained to me that it is “in the contrast that we learn and grow.” That “vision” would perish if there was no “deepness” in the light — like a painting that must have shadows in conjunction with the light in order to be seen.
I know that this experience took place in just a minute at the most but I felt that time was suspended. The piercing feeling of love and acceptance that enveloped my being felt like it lasted forever — hard to explain; but, what my brain tells me had to be correct, that this lasted a very short period of time, my heart tells me differently, that this happened outside of linear time and space that it is ALWAYS. In other words, this love is always present; I am never alone or abandoned; that mistakes are not possible.
[I learned] That there is a “Source” from which all energy/light proceeds and that we/humans are like that Source in all respects. That we choose mortality; That the Source of energy is what we call God and we are like God.
I knew I was connected to the woman and that we were “alike” and all human beings were “alike” God; I guess, that we are all related.
I learned the most about love, pure love. The love that I had previously experienced always had a component of anxiety. My mother had always said, “if you love me, you will do what I say.” So, to me, the feeling of love and the feeling of anxiety felt close to the same. Even the love that I felt for my children and my husband had that same component of anxiety — am I getting this right; am I loving enough. This love was completely different there was no anxiety or component that reflected the ego — the I of self — mine or hers. I had never experience a type of love that was not controllable — that just existed, purely, without a foundation based on some action. This love was immutable. The feeling still brings tears to my eyes, it is so beautiful and humbling.
I don’t know how to explain it with words — they were just feelings, the feeling that everything would be alright; this was all part of a plan; nothing needed to be hurried; and the most amazing feeling — that there was NOTHING I needed to do.
Before I believed God was a Heavenly Father who had commandment and expectations for me and that by following those, he would reward me in an afterlife. That there were differences in people some were bad and some were good — that God loved us all but love the obedient ones more. I no longer believe that. It was very difficult at first but I now believe that what we call “evil,” this component of “deepness” that emanated from the Source of energy, is a part of the learning experience and not something that we should fear. I wonder sometimes about Hitler and people who do terrible things but I know from this experience that they experience this same love that I did. Further, as strange as it may seem, I have come to believe that their actions were NOT mistakes in spite of the suffering cause. I am just glad that my path on earth did not include “learning” or “teaching” others through the principles of darkness.
I am more compassionate with myself and others; it is easier to forgive; I take things less personally; I never feel like life abuses me; if I get down it is easier to relax into the love I experienced and find peace; I care less about what other people do. The boundaries between right and wrong have blurred. It is easier not to judge others. I experience gratitude everyday. That I can feel grateful in all circumstances is the biggest change.
I no longer believe in eternal punishment or damnation; justice after this life is no longer relevant in a place where the kind of love I experienced resides.
I no longer get my underwear in a bunch over religious observations. In fact, it has been two years since I have been to a church service. Unthinkable before this happened.