Dying to be Me (Part 1)


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AngelicView: I just did a search on this blog and I can’t believe I haven’t posted Anita M’s NDE yet! I sincerely hope she doesn’t take any offense! 

I am going to post on the some parts of the NDE itself, and then go into the interview that was done. She has some great viewpoints that I’d like to get out there. I will break it up into two parts, so that those who are already familiar with her NDE can skip right to the interview.

Anita says this of her illness:  I had cancer (Hodgkin’s Lymphoma), and on this morning, I could not move.  My husband rushed me to hospital, where, after doing scans, they diagnosed me with grade 4B lymphoma (the highest grade).  The senior oncologist looked at my report and told my husband that it was too late, and that my organs were now shutting down.  I only had 36 hours to live.”

By the way, Anita is still alive today, so we also know that there was a miraculous healing involved. Below is an excerpt from the NDE:

I was drifting in and out of consciousness during this time, and I could feel my spirit actually leaving my body.  I saw and heard the conversations between my husband and the doctors taking place outside my room, about 40 feet away down a hallway. I was later able to verify this conversation to my shocked husband.  Then I actually “crossed over” to another dimension, where I was engulfed in a total feeling of love.  I also experienced extreme clarity of why I had the cancer, why I had come into this life in the first place, what role everyone in my family played in my life in the grand scheme of things, and generally how life works.  The clarity and understanding I obtained in this state is almost indescribable.  Words seem to limit the experience – I was at a place where I understood how much more there is than what we are able to conceive in our 3-dimensional world.  I realized what a gift life was, and that I was surrounded by loving spiritual beings, who were always around me even when I did not know it.  

The amount of love I felt was overwhelming, and from this perspective, I knew how powerful I am, and saw the amazing possibilities we as humans are capable of achieving during a physical life.  I found out that my purpose now would be to live “heaven on earth” using this new understanding, and also to share this knowledge with other people.  However I had the choice of whether to come back into life, or go towards death.  I was made to understand that it was not my time, but I always had the choice, and if I chose death, I would not be experiencing a lot of the gifts that the rest of my life still held in store.  One of the things I wanted to know was that if I chose life, would I have to come back to this sick body, because my body was very, very sick and the organs had stopped functioning.  I was then made to understand that if I chose life, my body would heal very quickly.  I would see a difference in not months or weeks, but days!  

I was shown how illnesses start on an energetic level before they become physical.  If I chose to go into life, the cancer would be gone from my energy, and my physical body would catch up very quickly.  I then understood that when people have medical treatments for illnesses, it rids the illness only from their body but not from their energy so the illness returns.  I realized if I went back, it would be with a very healthy energy.  Then the physical body would catch up to the energetic conditions very quickly and permanently.  I was given the understanding that this applies to anything, not only illnesses – physical conditions, psychological conditions, etc.  I was “shown” that everything going on in our lives was dependant on this energy around us, created by us.  Nothing was solid – we created our surroundings, our conditions, etc. depending where this “energy” was at.  The clarity I received around how we get what we do was phenomenal!  It’s all about where we are energetically.  I was made to feel that I was going to see “proof” of this first hand if I returned back to my body. 

VisionOfClarityI know I was drifting in and out between the two worlds, but every time I drifted into the “other side”, I was shown more and more scenes.  There was one which showed how my life had touched all the people in it – it was sort of like a tapestry and showed how I affected everyone’s lives around me.  There was another which showed my brother on a plane, having heard the news I was dying, coming to see me (this was verified to me as when I started to come round, my brother was there, having just got off a plane).  I then saw a glimpse of my brother and me and somehow seemed to understand it was a previous life, where I was much older than him and was like a mother to him (in this life, he is older than me).  I saw in that life I was very protective towards him.  I suddenly became aware he was on the plane to come and see me, and felt “I can’t do this to him – can’t let him come and see me dead”.  Then I also saw how my husband’s purpose was linked to mine, and how we had decided to come and experience this life together.  If I went, he would probably follow soon after. 

I was made to understand that, as tests had been taken for my organ functions (and the results were not out yet), that if I chose life, the results would show that my organs were functioning normally.  If I chose death, the results would show organ failure as the cause of death, due to cancer.  I was able to change the outcome of the tests by my choice!   

I made my choice, and as I started to wake up (in a very confused state, as I could not at that time tell which side of the veil I was on),  the doctors came rushing into the room with big smiles on their faces saying to my family “Good news – we got the results and her organs are functioning – we can’t believe it!!  Her body really did seem like it had shut down!” 

After that, I began to recover rapidly.  The doctors had been waiting for me to become stable before doing a lymph node biopsy to track the type of cancer cells, and they could not even find a lymph node big enough to suggest cancer (upon entering the hospital my body was filled with swollen lymph nodes).  They did a bone marrow biopsy, again to find the cancer activity so they could adjust the chemotherapy according to the disease,RightOnTime and there wasn’t any in the bone marrow.  The doctors were very confused, but put it down to me suddenly responding to the chemo. Because they themselves were unable to understand what was going on, they made me undergo test after test, all of which I passed with flying colors, and clearing every test empowered me even more!  I had a full body scan, and because they could not find anything, they made the radiologist repeat it again!!!!   

Because of my experience, I am now sharing with everyone I know that miracles are possible in your life every day.  After what I have seen, I realize that absolutely anything is possible, and that we did not come here to suffer.  Life is supposed to be great, and we are very, very loved.  The way I look at life has changed dramatically, and I am so glad to have been given a second chance to experience “heaven on earth”.

AV: I’m sure none of my readers would do this, but because Anita has written a book, there are going to be people out there who would accuse her of coming up with a story to make money. Below I’ve pasted more details about her illness.

About 3 and a half years ago, I had a needle biopsy on a swollen lymph gland at the base of my neck where it meets my shoulder on my left side, and the results indicated I had Hodgkin’s Lymphoma.  A scan then preliminary staged it at 1A at that time, however more tests still needed to be done.  If I can explain some details, which I did not think was necessary in my earlier account as it had nothing to do with the NDE itself:  My best friend had just died of cancer – she had a sarcoma in her chest area.  The sarcoma had been removed surgically, and then she was given chemo.  Her physical condition deteriorated very badly after starting the chemo, and continued to deteriorate until she died.  Her family felt very strongly it was the chemo that killed her, not the cancer.  I was with her through her experience, and watch her suffer through her chemo experience, which was horrific, and then watched her die.  This was my friend whom I had known since grade school, and we had grown up together.  When I was then subsequently diagnosed the same year she died, I was shocked, as were a lot of people in our circle of friends.  I was very, very afraid of chemo, so refused treatment, and went to see a naturopath who specialized in cancer treatment.  At first, the swollen lymph nodes seemed to be shrinking, and we felt the therapy was working, and I was very happy that I would not have to have chemo.  But although they got smaller, they did not disappear completely.  I was living in a lot of fear at that time – fear of the cancer, and fear of chemo.  I cleaned up my diet, did colon therapy, and took all the pills the naturopathic doctor gave me.  But around 2 years ago, the lymph nodes seemed to be growing again, and so the doctor changed my therapy, and also sent me to a herbal specialist.  Again, it seemed to come under control for a little while, but around 1 year ago, I started to develop fluid in my chest area, and also my left arm became swollen.  My doctor then performed a pleural effusion, and then the fluid came back and he performed the effusion several more times.  During this time, my glands were getting more and more swollen, until January, 2006, when my health deteriorated dramatically in a span of 2 or 3 weeks. My breathing became more and more laboured, I was always out of breath, and I needed to carry a portable oxygen machine.  I was losing weight, I could not eat, as I felt full all the time, my muscles were deteriorating to the point where I could not walk and was using a wheelchair, I had skin lesions which were oozing, and by February 2, I could not move.  I could not open my eyes, get out of bed, let alone even walk.   I just accepted that this was it, I was going to die, and I just completely let go.  I did not feel any pain, or discomfort.  I was not on any medication at that point – just a state of total release. 

My husband rushed me to hospital, and I was assigned an oncologist who, after examining me, said “its too late.  There is nothing I can do.”  My husband pleaded with her, and she then relented to assign someone else, as she felt it would be a “waste of her time”, or perhaps she did not want my death on her record.  She was very annoyed with my naturopathic doctor, and felt it was his responsibility to send me to the hospital earlier, and made it clear that it was “his fault” that I was going to die.

The scans showed that the lymphoma had spread throughout my body, and my organs were compromised.  My feet and hands now began to swell like balloons, and my face was all swollen.  The oncologist said “her organs have already shut down – she is dying of organ failure”.  Listening to my husband’s pleas, she called another oncologist, who said to my husband “I can’t promise anything, I’ll see what I can do.  However, the next 24 hours are critical.  She is too unstable to even perform a biopsy to determine what drugs to inject.  We will also begin to run the tests right away on her organ functions as all symptoms seem to indicate failure.”  This was the conversation that took place outside my room, some 40 feet away, and I heard and saw it, so I had obviously left my body at that time.  Anyway, I then became aware of all the needles poking me, and some kind of chemo drugs went into me, but I don’t know exactly what the mix was.  And I was connected to an oxygen machine, a food tube, something that monitored my heart, pulse, blood pressure, etc. etc.   The next morning, (after drifting between the two worlds through the night and after making my decision to come back into life) I started to feel more awake, and started to feel slightly more grounded in this world than that one, and that was when the doctors came in and said my organs were showing normal function.  I was still a bit fuzzy, and said something like “oh, I thought we knew that already”.  My brother had arrived, having been on a plane overnight, and by that evening, I was really awake and ready to sit up. My whole family started celebrating.  Within 4 days, my progress was remarkable, and I was transferred from the ICU to a normal private room.  There was significant reduction in my lymph nodes within those 4 days. 

Because it now looked like I was going to make it, the doctor called for a wound specialist to look at my skin lesions.  When he first looked at them, he said that surgery would be needed as the skin had been “eaten away”, but he would wait until I became stronger.  However, my wounds healed miraculously over the weeks, and never needed surgery (one on the neck and one under the arm).  About a week after coming out of ICU, they performed a bone marrow biopsy, and could not find anything, and about 10 days after that, they performed a lymph node biopsy.  When I was sent for the lymph node biopsy, the radiologist could not find a lymph node big enough to even suggest cancer, however the oncologist pushed him to mark a lymph node on my body anyway which they biopsied and found nothing.  Each time, I knew the test results were going to be negative.  The oncologist however, wanted to run these tests so that he could determine what chemo drugs to use, but since he could not find anything, he said it is because I am responding extremely well to what he is currently using, so he will keep giving me that.  I said that if the cancer seems gone, why do I have to keep having the chemo, but he insisted that, even though my recovery was remarkable, he had to be sure to give me at least the minimum number of cycles, because of the state I was in when I came in.  He said he originally thought I would need a lot more cycles, but was now reducing it drastically to the minimum he ever gives which is six. I don’t know why, but I did not suffer major side effects from the chemo.  I was so charged by my NDE, it was as if nothing was going to get me down, and I now lost my fear of the chemo, and knew that I was going to be fine – better than fine.

2 thoughts on “Dying to be Me (Part 1)

  1. Pingback: Dying to be Me (Part 2) | AngelicView

  2. Pingback: The NDE and the Law of Attraction | AngelicView

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