AngelicView: A good read of an NDE. This man has a great way of using metaphors to try to explain his experience. He explains our lives here on Earth as kind of like playing a virtual reality game and controlling the character in the game. The funny thing about that is that I was just reading these same words by my friend, Laron, at Transients.info yesterday!
This man’s name is Brian and in his experience, like many of these, he meets with a glorious light being. Now, I’d just like to throw it out there… that perhaps this light being was the higher aspect of himself. His own higher-self. (Just my theory/opinion).
Written in 2004
I have to begin my account by pointing out that it is not possible to convey the richness of my ND experience with words.
It’s a bit like trying to depict a magnificent sunset, by drawing it in sand with a stick.
My memory of it hasn’t faded much, if at all, over 30 years. Although it was probably brought about by an overdose of drugs, it was nothing like a hallucination.
I knew it had not been any sort of dream. In fact it was far more real than normal waking consciousness. This aspect is so hard to explain.
I was left with the certainty that a much greater reality exists beyond this one, I had seen it, been in it.
What had happened to me was real, I mean really real, as if normal life is just an illusion in which we are immersed for our time here. Since the advent of virtual reality, I have found that is a good way to think of this existence. This reality is a wondrous, awesome creation, and it has purpose, but an immensely greater reality exists.
After five days of hard drugs and little food or sleep I had made my way to bed and collapsed there, totally out of it. I did not find myself looking down on my body, but then it was the middle of the night in a pitch dark room.
I became aware that I was somehow apart from my body, and I remembered with surprise and wonder, that I had known the feeling before.
It had been before my life began, before I was born. I could feel my real self, and I recognized that I was the same self then and now. This was joyous. Then I was looking down on my entire life and seeing how unimportant all the big hassles were. I could see life as though it were a game I had been playing, and how all the moves were just parts of the game.
Another way to describe this is the feeling you have when you have been engrossed in a really good book for hours, and then you put the book aside and notice the world around you. You take a deep breath and the real world imposes on you, even as you reflect on what you have been reading. Well, life is sort of like the story in the book, and having put it aside I could see and reflect on life from the perspective of a higher more real reality. I could see every part of my life, every event and instance all at once. Although it seemed instantaneous, I knew that every moment was there. These days I might say that I downloaded my hard drive. At the time, I think I tried to describe it as a replay in fast forward. I understood that so much of what we think is important, is trivial, or of no consequence. We take ourselves much too seriously.
Then I was traveling down a tunnel. It didn’t open up before me, or draw me into it. I was just in it, and really moving. I’m not sure how big it was. It seemed just big enough for me to travel through it. Although it felt like falling, weightless, there was no sense of up or down, just along. The tunnel was mostly dark, but I could sense the sides of it rushing past. I was facing forward the whole way through, if you can be said to face any way without a body. The practical part of me was looking ahead for obstacles on this exhilarating ride. The rest of me was thrilled by it. I tried to reach out to touch the sides, but I didn’t have hands. Well, not hands that I could use as brakes anyway, and yet I still had the form of my body. I felt like laughing at that. Words are so inadequate!
I remember thinking that I should feel worried about hurtling along like this, and at the same time realizing that only my body could get hurt by an impact, and I had left it behind.
It was a very quick journey. A light appeared up ahead. It was the end of the tunnel and I rushed into it. There was no sensation of slowing down or coming to a stop. I was just there. I didn’t even think to look back.
I was in a beautiful place. In everyday terms it was like a radiant, joyous landscape, on a summer afternoon, but it was so much more û inexpressibly beautiful, serene, and delightful, with the most wonderful light pervading everything. Something like rolling hills with carpets of wildflowers. There were many other people there, and they were blissfully happy. I can’t say how many – a multitude will have to do.
I was doing so much more than just seeing this; I was feeling it all with senses unimaginable. Although I can’t say who they were, I knew these souls, and they knew me. They radiated love and welcome. They were like family, and we rejoiced in our reunion. It was rapturous. Although we didn’t have physical bodies, we still looked the same. We still had the same form as bodies, but we could see our real true selves. We communicated perfectly without speech.
Then a radiant Being of pure light appeared in the distance, and I watched as it moved slowly among us. As it came closer, I remember thinking that I would not have been able to look at it with my eyes. It was such an intense, beautiful white light. A hundred times, a thousand times brighter than the sun. I was drawn irresistibly towards this being. I don’t mean unwillingly. I wanted nothing else but to go to it, fall into it, and be embraced by it. As I came closer I was overwhelmed by the feeling of pure love, understanding and compassion which emanated from this wondrous entity. This was by far the most wonderful and powerful feeling of my experience. Nothing can truly describe it.
This glorious, wonderful entity recognized me, understood perfectly every minute aspect about me, and poured love into me. The love was real, as much a force as a feeling and immeasurable. Knowing every little thing about me and my life and looking at it with me, there was a lot of real amusement. This being has a personality. It is fun to be with, delightful, and it has a sense of humor. I never wanted to leave this divine Presence, but somehow, without explanation but with perfect understanding, I knew that I had to go back, and I understood that this was good and right, and I woke up in my bed, in the dark, thoroughly blown away by what had just happened to me. I walked around the house declaring “that was no dream!” It had been so real, that waking life seemed like the dream for quite a while.
About two years later I read about Near Death Experiences for the first time. I marveled at the accounts I was reading (I think in a Reader’s Digest). Other people had had the same experience as me, and they were saying it was a near death thing.
That made sense, considering the drugs I had taken at the time, but I never knew that perhaps I had nearly died. It was the most joyful experience for me, with no negative aspects whatsoever.
~ I remember coming out of it with a big deep breath and feeling quite cold. I had taken large amounts of narcotics and amphetamines continuously over five days without proper sleep.
~ The difference was like that between reading a boring book on your own to suddenly being at a lively party. It was like waking up, it was just more real and my awareness of that was intense and unquestionable. My conscious awareness expanded into a greater realm and with greater perception. Not limited to the usual senses or the brain. I knew I had left my body behind and become my true self.
~ I enjoyed 20/20 vision before the nde, but during the experience I didn’t have to rely on eyes that only focus on one thing at a time. I could see everywhere with perfect clarity and at any distance. It’s a different seeing, your brain is not having to interpret, I knew I wasn’t using eyes when the Light entity appeared, they could not have looked at It, but I was.
~ I didn’t hear anything in the usual way. I don’t mean it was silent, but conversations were immediate and came with feelings and sometimes a complete understanding was shared without the need for words.
~ [About the tunnel]… It just was there and I was falling through it. Weightless but not falling down, just along it. I seemed just the right size, and I felt that if I reached out my arms I could touch the sides. I tried to because I was going really fast and didn’t know how it would end. That’s when I realized I was without my body, and that made me want to laugh. It took a long turn or two. It was mostly dark but the sides had some form about them. I was very lucid throughout my experience and exceptionally aware. A light appeared way up ahead, at first just like a star but I was going so fast it got bigger in an instant. As I exited it, the tunnel really was about the size of my outstretched arms and the light was not a point but was ambient light flooding the vista at its’ end.
~ The entire landscape was bathed in a beautiful almost golden glow that came from everywhere and suffused everything. Then there was the entity of light that appeared. It was pure white light bright as a thousand suns, but so much more. It was radiating life, love, compassion, love as a power, a force of good.
~ There were many joyful beings, human spirits, where I went. We all knew and loved each other and it was like a joyous reunion. It was as if they surrounded me the moment I arrived out of the tunnel, but they didn’t have to physically surround me. They all turned their welcoming attention to me, which was like being surrounded and in close touch. I knew this was home.
~ I was not given names of any of the spirits I encountered. The Entity of light was certainly Divine. So much of what I experienced accords with the teachings of Jesus, that his words clearly resonate with divine wisdom. The Being I encountered is so much more than Christianity ever taught me.
~ Time as we perceive it here has no meaning when you are not here. It is an aspect of this reality, this created illusion that we spend our lives in.
I can recall the sense of eternity that was there, but it was not time until infinity, not a sense of past present or future. It just isn’t happening that way. My human brain can’t comprehend what I sensed.
~ I had a full awareness that there is existence before and after earthly life as soon as I arrived. I was back home, I was amongst many spirits who I had been with before. I knew this was the real me, always had been, no body necessary. We all knew that. And I knew that I would be back. It is home.
~ Love flows from the Entity of light. It is a force. In earthly life it is something we can invite then allow to flow through us into the world. It makes miracles happen everyday. It is a force for good and it can let us see that heaven is all around us.
~ I thought I was an atheist, but I still believed in a higher power. I had rejected the Christian Church dogma, but didn’t realize that I was throwing the Deity out with the bathwater.
~ It wasn’t just real, it was much more real than this reality perceived as it is through human senses and interpreted by our clever brains. It’s impossible by any terms or conceptions in this reality to describe it.
~ My experience was of a realm more real than this. I now believe this is an illusion, a simulation, a virtual reality. Sure it’s as real as we think it is right down to the constituents of atoms and laws of physics. It’s amazing. But the picture on our TV seems real, we just understand how the pixels come to be there.
I know who I am praying to and how to conduct that dialogue. My prayers are always answered. Often I share much of my daily experience in a sort of ongoing connection with Heaven. I share what I am seeing and feeling, especially moments of beauty and joy, there is a feedback when I do that.
Someone asked me a while ago how often I pray, and I immediately replied I’m doing it now, because I had been most of that afternoon.
I suppose I might have become a bit mystical, but with two feet on the ground.
We are meant to live this life while we are here.
Tell everyone that they don’t need a Religion to be enlightened spiritual people. So many people disillusioned with their church or religion reject God in the process. God is bigger than any religion with all their pomp and righteousness. Cut out the middleman, God will hear you.
~ I gained with absolute certainty knowledge that there is much more life after death than what we have here. I know that this reality is not the main one. I know there is a loving Deity, I know that forgiveness can be unconditional. I know that material aspirations are meaningless, that humility is paramount and that love and compassion are important virtues.
AngelicView: Thank you, Brian, for sharing your experience. By the way, I think you are a great writer and definitely should start a blog! 😉