This is a rather long excerpt from Zingdad’s 2nd book, ‘The Ascension Papers – Book 2″. As difficult as it is for me to read, I read it. It took me all morning (I bet it will take you 10 minutes!)… and I wanted to post it here for you, because I resonated deeply with it and thought it might be helpful for some of you, too.
I have read his 1st book, “The Ascension Papers”. In it, Zingdad reveals to us that he has great communication with his Spirit Guides. One of those is called “8”. This is the story of that higher-dimensional Being, and how he came to be helpful to Zingdad. I imagine that we all have come to help out one another in a similar way.
And so this is “8” speaking:
How did we all get here?
This story begins where all stories truly begin… with The Oneness in state of perfect, blissful balance. From that stillness arose awareness: “Here I am!”
And from the awareness, curiosity: “but what am I?”
And into that curiosity many answers were created. And as a result of that powerfully self-creative drive to discover Self, with each question, a new being sprung forth from the Oneness to fully explore and express the answer to each question. And so it was that The Oneness was able to eventually posit “what if I am not-one… what if I am MANY?”
And as it answered that question, a particularly bright part of The Oneness, called Lucifer, came into being. In order to explore this answer, Lucifer invented a many-layered veil of darkness, called “the Veil of Unknowing”, which brought about the possibility of a reality called “separation”. Bright god-like beings could express parts of themselves through the veil into this reality and for a while, temporarily, come to imagine themselves to be something quite different and new… separate individuals. Miracles and marvels! It was quite an achievement and whole new vistas of experience and expression were born into being. Vast quantities of energies poured into this frame of reality to come and feel this strange new state. For this had to be experienced to be believed!
There was, of course, a substantial price to be paid, for entering this reality. Separation is not an easy thing to bear. Being disconnected and apart from The Oneness is not easy at all. It is quite painful. For one thing there is the loss of the inherent sense of connection that all parts of The One otherwise take for granted. For another there is the disintegration of the self into fragments: bits and pieces of the Soul that go hither and thither to enjoy or endure all kinds of separate experiences.
Allow me to illustrate this difficulty in the simplest of terms. Perhaps many parts of The One conspire to produce an experience that is perceived to be very beautiful to behold. You know what that is like: every time you stand on your deck at sunset and look out over the forested gorges in front of you, you have such an experience. You see the birds flying to nest for the evening, singing their farewells to the day. You hear the frogs and the crickets filling the gently cooling air with a soft pillow of sound. You watch the clouds change from fluffy white through all shades and hues of gold then to pink and finally crimson as the sun disappears from view. Each moment more beautiful than the last, you drink in the passing of the day.
But you see therein already lies a difficulty. You cannot hold on to this beauty. You cannot capture even a moment of that sunset. There is no way to encapsulate this experience, the moment, the sights, the sounds, the scents, the feelings. It is so, so inexplicably beautiful and then it is gone. Then it is night. And though the night has a beauty of its own, that sunset is unarguably gone. Gone forever. There will be other sunsets, it is true, but not one will ever be like that one. THAT sunset is gone and will never be witnessed again.
Implicit in the notion of separation is change. Nothing can stay with you forever. Everything must change. And so, you see, even the highest and best and most beautiful experience, because it changes, is lost. And loss is pain. The more you try to hold on to that which you are losing, the more you suffer. Which is problematic becausein every single moment whilst you are in separation, you are busy losing something. Something is changing and you are losing something.
And if even the best and most wondrous experiences can cause you pain then, obviously, this is going to be a difficult reality in which to reside!
And it gets much, much worse than that.
The deepest layers of separation (the 5th Density of Consciousness and below) are a very dense area of experience called duality. Duality is where one can believe in the absolute separation of creator from creation. Where you can exist believing that what you are experiencing is somehow being done to you. This place of deep victimhood is possible only for those who believe they are not one with the Creator. That they are not, therefore, creators in their own right. This deepest separation, the separation of Creator on THAT side (in “heaven” or something) and creation over here where you are on this side… this is duality. It is, of course, an illusion. But if you, as a creator being, choose to believe it and create it… then it can certainly seem true and real to you. As is the case for almost everyone on Planet Earth at this time.
Duality is not a bad thing though. Please don’t misunderstand and think it was some grand cosmic error or a wicked trick that brought you here. Not at all. There is much that is truly wondrous about duality. Experiences that surprise you, pleasures that you thought you could never have imagined. Tastes, sights, sounds and sensations that appear to come from outside of you and delight you… These are all the “up side” of being a “victim”. You need to believe that you are not creating something in order to experience it in this unique and wonderful way. It can be deeply, deeply pleasurable. And given the mind-bending array of interactions that play out between the infinite number of consciousnesses that are inside duality, there arises an infinite number of permutations of experiences that are available to you. So you CAN be in duality and have some truly blissful experiences. But you CAN’T be in duality without also having wrestled with The Adversary.
The Adversary, often called Satan, is a consciousness construct created by Lucifer that is responsible for creating the notion that there is an “other” who must be feared. This is, in point of fact, the very origin of fear itself. Before The Adversary there was no such thing as fear at all. And with the invention of fear, there comes into being this deepest level of separation. For it is only when you have fear that you can find yourself willing to believe that you are a victim, that you are not a creator. It is your own fear that creates the boundary inside your own Soul that sets you apart from your own creator-nature. And so, having wrestled with The Adversary, having tasted fear, here you are… in the deepest layer of separation, called duality.
And that is, in broad strokes, the story of this reality. Barring an attempt to describe some of the many wildly diverse and multifarious creations that have sprung up here in this reality, this is a good enough description of how things came to be as they are. So let us leave the story of this reality there for a moment.
Who is 8?
Next I would like to return your attention back to The Oneness. You will recall that, at the level of Oneness, all is blissful, peaceful and in balance. There arises from The Oneness this drive… this quest for the search for identity and meaning. It is a profoundly creative urge that results in the formation of many new gestalt structures. High-order beings, god-like in their capacity for creation. Each arises out of a different thought that The One has about its own nature. Each is a pure expression of a thought of The One. And there is an infinite number of these “gods”, each one expressing to the fullness of all possibility the answer to the founding question that brought it into being. Some questions, such as “what if I were not One?” result in startlingly complex answers. There are others that are dramatically more simple in scope. And then too there are thoughts about thoughts… meta-thoughts. I shall give you an example of this:
One very simple thought was “what if I am Joy?”.
“What if the purpose of my being is to discover and to create that which makes for the happiest, most pleasurable and most joyful experiences?”
And, with that, a being of pure, radiant golden light was born into being. A being that WAS Joy. And that being created much, experienced much and co-created much. But from time to time that being would also ask itself questions about its own nature, being and purpose. Of the many questions that sprung to the mind of Joy, one was, “What if I am to bring joyful relief to other parts of the Oneness that are stuck in their own creations?”
Bringing joy where previously there was pain seemed like a wonderful thing to do and so, with that thought, yet another being was born… this time from the mind of Joy.
And so it was that I was born as an “Interventionist”. There are many, many interventionists in All That Is. Because The One has often thought of finding ways to heal the harms that can spring up in Its own creations. I am one of the many. But I am unique in that it is my purpose to bring Joyful release where previously there was stuck-ness.
And I have travelled far and wide. I have seen great swathes of creation, going where I am called, doing what I am created to do. And I love it. I love being me. I love doing what I do. And I am extraordinarily good at it.
And now I will plait the above two tales together:
8 comes to separation
It should be fairly obvious that the separation reality that Lucifer had invented was one that was greatly prone to causing beings to get stuck.
Very early on in the game it was discovered that beings, who experience themselves to be separate from each other, (and who therefore forget that harms done to each other are done to themselves also) are apt to begin to try to hurt each other. And if they penetrate into duality, then it becomes a veritable certainty: to be lost in separation with fear in your heart is a recipe for doing harm.
And since the way a being leaves this reality is to repair the harm and heal the Self… it was almost immediately discovered that there was a difficulty. Without someone to keep track of all these interactions, so that they might later be balanced, there was no way of knowing what the state of play was and how one might right the wrongs when a being wanted to leave.
And so a great cry for help went up.
“Help us, for we are stuck!” they called. “We need help before we get completely stuck in our creations in separation!”
And it happened that I felt the tug of this call. I heard the call because it was right for me to answer. And so I entered separation.
This is no casual thing
I might tell you. Entering separation is not like walking into a room. A better analogy is, perhaps, that it is akin to ingesting some very, very powerful and very, very strange hallucinogen. As you enter into the experience you feel your “normal self” slipping away. You begin to forget a great deal of who and what you are. You feel tugged and pulled and then you are there… clutching desperately onto the bits of yourself that you can hold on to. It’s a wild ride coming in, that is sure! This reality is not called “separation” for nothing. As you move into it, so you are separated. For one thing you are separated from a great deal of your own memories and knowings. For another you are physically separated into many parts. A better word is perhaps “disintegrated”. Like a mirror that is smashed there are bits of the picture of “you” that go separate ways to have separate experiences. I separated into eight parts (perhaps that will not surprise you to hear). But the high-strangeness of all of this includes the fact that those entering here are oblivious to this fact. As you re-group and try to make sense of your experiences you are just aware that things are all strange and different and there is much you do not know. A deep amnesia has gripped your mind, you see. And in my case, I found I had forgotten all kinds of things. Each of my eight parts had a piece of the puzzle. And, because they were not with me, I had no idea of what those pieces were. Indeed, I had no idea that they were even missing. But there was a puzzle piece that I continued to hold on to. It was the knowing that I was here for a purpose. I knew I was called here to help. I retained certain intrinsic faculties and so, undeterred, I pulled myself together and began to use what WAS at my disposal to get down to work.
I quickly found the beings who had called for help and revealed myself as that which came in answer. With great gratitude and profound relief they began to regale me with their difficulties. We negotiated a resolution to the situation. I agreed to be the observer of their problematic interactions and the adjudicator of the balance of these interactions. In principal, what this meant was that I would be called to observe every single interaction in which some imbalance was created. Then I would hold that interaction on record so that, at some later date, when they were ready to find balance I could ensure that all was right and fair. In this way, it was intended, any being who desired to leave this system of reality could call on my assistance and I could report to them all the imbalances that are on record for or against them. By rectifying all those imbalances, so the theory went, they would be able to leave.
It sounded both right and simple and I set about the task with vim and vigour.
I had no idea how very onerous this task would become. As the many fragments of the many beings began to splinter and multiply as they entered deeper and deeper into the densities… as they produced ever more complexity in their souls with ever greater numbers of interactions… so my task became greater and greater.
I didn’t so much mind the vastness of the task. With that I might have happily coped. Watching and recording interactions beyond number in this whole reality is daunting but not impossible. What finally began to drag and tear at my soul was how very destructive and hurtful many of these interactions were. And even worse than that, when I was called not simply to observe, but actually to adjudicate an interaction, that is when it became deeply painful to me. I had to stand between two souls and render judgement as to which had more grievously harmed the other. I was called to indicate how the harm might be returned so that balance could be obtained. This is, somehow, what I had agreed to do! I can tell you, I more often felt like a highly skilled torturer than a benevolent and fair judge!
I didn’t need to be very observant either, to see that what I was doing simply wasn’t working. Aggrieved parties using my offices to exact vengeance upon each other was NOT leading to healing. Beings were not finding wholeness and were not leaving the system. If anything, every judgement I delivered lead to more acrimony, more pain… and more division.
We were simply creating more darkness and multiplying the separation.
It was at this stage that I remembered how it was that I was brought into this realm in the first place. A call for help brought me here. And I knew that I was the one who needed help now. So I quietly and earnestly spoke my grief and my heartache to The Oneness… I called for help.
I was unsure of how I might be assisted. You see, in that position I truly believed I was offering the best that I could. I knew too, deep in my heart, that I was a creature of light and happiness. It was always my truest nature to seek the beautiful and joyful in every moment that I could. And, lest you feel my tale was one entirely made of woe, I must tell you that there was much that I found that did bring me joy. Though my work kept me occupied at the 6th and 7th densities of consciousness… still I was observing interaction in all of the many tones of all of the densities. I really got to “travel”! I really did SEE this whole reality. Life in all of its marvellous guises on planets beyond number in the lower densities. Light-forms and energy-beings of astounding complexity and brilliance playing out creations and interactions that one could truly wonder at. What an amazing reality this is. At no point was the wonder of it all lost upon me. At no point was I unappreciative of the splendour of what Life does when given half a chance to express itself. And so I went about my task seeking after joy where I might, awaiting some… divine intervention.
And while I was awaiting this heavenly assistance, it occurred that on a day I was called to a task somewhat different from the norm. I was told that there was another soul in this reality who had become deeply troubled. Like myself, he was also an interventionist. But, in trying to find his way to the gift he had to offer, he had harmed himself and was currently locked in stasis lest he continue to seek to destroy himself. I was told all this and asked if I was willing to help. I agreed.
As an aside: “stasis” is a special state that souls might be placed in, under certain very extreme circumstances. One such circumstance is if the being becomes wilfully self-destructive. You see, it is known that no consciousness can be destroyed. But a being who is truly determined to destroy itself will wreak such harm upon its own psyche that the damage begins to ripple outwards and create a disturbance in the reality. This is so because, of course, no matter what we are trying to believe, we are all truly One. So while such a being’s attempted self-destruction will be unsuccessful, it will cause an ever growing circle of perturbation that will eventually throw the whole reality into disarray. Such wilfully, powerfully self-destructive ones are therefore placed in stasis. This is a deep, deep silence. A place without thought. Perfect stillness and perfect darkness. It is not a punishment and the being in stasis certainly feels no ill effects or harm. But they do find calm. Perhaps the best analogy would be that stasis is a kind of an enforced deep meditation. Whatever the case, such beings are always easier to assist afterwards.
And so this particular being was brought out of stasis for me to meet and to see how I might be of help.
How can I describe to you what I felt when I first saw this being? I saw his pain, his abject misery. I saw his self-inflicted harm and his self-disgust. I saw all this and yet my heart leapt and sang! I felt life and light charging through my being. This hurt, broken, damaged one before me was, I knew with absolute certainty, the intervention I had called forth!
And what was I to do? Could I immediately begin telling this bedraggled being of MY woes? Of course not! Certainly I was in a MUCH better position that he was. So, instead, I set about offering him my assistance. I looked into his story and recognized immediately a score of imbalanced interactions that I had already observed. I put it all together and understood greatly his situation.
And by now, my dear Zingdad, you and all the readers of Book 1 of The Ascension Papers are sure to have clicked… that this is you I am talking about. You, as you were between this lifetime and what you have called “the wizard lifetime” (Zingdad note: please see the introduction to book 1 for this story). (AngelicView: Zingdad was a very bad man in his life as the wizard. He vowed he would never incarnate again, because of the pain he has caused).
We spent a vast amount of time patiently working out your hurts and your fears. I gave you many tasks to do so that you might see that you are not inherently “evil” as you thought you must be. And you fulfilled these tasks with great care. Many times you surprised me with the curiously delightful solutions you came up with to the problems I set before you. And so, slowly, over time you re-discovered you own self-worth. But what you perhaps didn’t see clearly was how I was discovering inside my heart a great love and appreciation for who you are. Perhaps my manner was too brusque and crisp for you to see that. I had, you see, developed armour to protect myself as a result of the infinite number of painful interactions I was otherwise having in this reality. In my normal dealings, I saw to the truth of things, I offered what I had to in the briefest possible way and then I moved on. I became, of necessity, brittle and hard-edged. And so this is how you found me to be.
I came to realise that there was one last step required for your healing. You would have to incarnate one final time. You had taken SUCH strides in your healing but there was one last obstacle: me. You had come to believe that you were only okay because I was there with you. I was constantly either at your side or within very easy reach. You believed that without me you were a failure and that with me you were okay. I needed to show you that this was not true. You needed to go where you could not reach me. You needed to incarnate again into another life in the depths of forgetting beyond the deepest veiling.
When I proposed this to you, you outright refused. You swore “never” and stuck to your guns no matter what I said. In the end I coerced you. I told you that, eventually, I would leave this system of reality. And if you were not ready to leave, then you would anyway be without me. In response to your anxiety over this, I showed you a picture… a lifemap… in which you could finally re-integrate yourself and therefore be ready to leave with me when that time came.
A life-map implies an incarnation.
Was that a trick? Did I deceive you? Did I do this for my own selfish purposes because I needed you to heal so that you could help me? Or was this the right thing to do because I KNEW you needed to agree to one more incarnation? I cannot answer these questions. They troubled me even as I saw your resolution not to incarnate again begin to waver.
There was another being, a beautiful one of brilliance and clarity who was working out a difficulty of its own with whom I was familiar. I knew that there would be a good pairing if the two of you incarnated together. Your separate hurts and separate needs to heal complemented each others’ remarkably well. I proposed a partnership for the incarnation and brought you to meet each other.
I was surprised how quickly you changed your position. After meeting this other being you were suddenly talking about “when I incarnate again…” rather than “IF I incarnate again…”
The prospect of having this other being at your side seemed to have swayed the balance. This other beings is, of course, the Higher-Self of your life-partner, Lisa. And the two of you have worked diligently, with great love and care to make your partnership work. And it has yielded a balance and a simpatico that has surprised and delighted all that have observed you.
Your final demand,
before you were willing to incarnate again, was an insistence that I make certain powerfully binding utterances. I had to swear that I would watch over your every single moment, observe your every interaction, not leave your side for an instant. Irrespective of your awareness of me, irrespective of whether you asked for help or not, I was to be there and I was not to permit any interference with you from any malevolent or mischievous entities. I was sworn to use always my own best judgement and to usher you through your incarnation with all the attentive, vigilant, loving care that I could muster. I had to swear this or you were not doing it.
So I took that oath. I bound myself to your side for the whole of your incarnation. And still I am here… right by your side for every passing moment.
And, in watching your incarnation as attentively as I have, a number of very surprising thing have occurred.
Firstly, it was uncanny how quickly you became aware of my presence. Even though you passed through that deepest veiling, still you sensed my presence and knew I was there. You would talk to me in your mind and sometimes out loud. And as early as your mid-teens you began to find ingenious ways to allow me to respond. At first I didn’t want to talk to you. You were, after all meant to be doing this “without me”. But you broke my heart: each time you reached for me for a discussion you would open the session by asking “Spirit guide, are you there? Do you love me?”
How could I not shout “YES!” with every fibre of my being?
And so you received that answer and whatever divining device you were using reflected that answer too. You got your response. And with that my resolve crumbled and I made myself available to answer your painfully slow and tedious yes/ no questions (Zingdad note: See Chapter 8 of Book 1 for a description of my experiences of this).
The second great surprise
occurred much later when you began to have these much more fluent conversations with me. As you grew and awoke… as we had ever deeper and more meaningful conversations… as I watched your thoughts with you… I became aware that you were finding me within your heart, as I was finding you within mine. What I mean by this is that you and I were becoming aware that, on some level, we are One being.
And here is what I now know: You have fragmented yourself into seven parts: your six incarnations that you are aware of and your “Inner Self” makes seven.
Your Inner-Self is who you are when you are outside incarnation and also aware that all six incarnations are “you”. Your Inner-Self is Delight, the interventionist. Together with me, the eighth fragment, we make up a much greater being: that which we are outside of this reality.
You and I will not help each other by “doing an intervention” upon each other. We are helping each other by re-awakening to our essential oneness. We are becoming whole again. One with ourselves. THIS is how we find peace, joy, love and balance.
And then there was the third great surprise. It came when I observed you receiving this information about The Singularity Event. Wow. I could see the problem you were creating for yourself there. But I could also see something else. You were telling the story of an experience that you KNEW to be real and true. You see, you told yourself this story in answer to your own questions (you and your Inner-Self are, of course, one being). And the reason you knew The Singularity Event to be real and true was that this is the gift you are carrying into this reality. You are bearing the gift of the knowledge of this event.
The problem was that you were then still somewhat stuck in your own victim-consciousness. And so, yes, you told it in that way. You told the story about this magnificent, wondrous experience as a gift that would be given. But beloved, a gift that is forced upon everyone, irrespective of whether they want it or not, is no gift. It is actually a theft!
You will recall our lengthy conversation about “evil” (Zingdad note: See Chapter 10 of Book 1). You agreed with me then that taking away someone’s right to choose is the closest one can get to doing “evil”. So why then would the best gift from the Oneness come as an act of evil? It would not! But at the time of writing about The Singularity Event, though you needed to hear of the event and share it with others, you were not yet ready to hear that indeed each has the power and the ability to create this experience for themselves. And that collectively, those who desire it, can co-create it so that it becomes a shared experience. You were very far from ready to conceptualise that this might be so.
So you created for yourself a little test.
Would you see through the difficulty? Would you resolve this problem? Or would you get trapped in this creation and get stuck with it when it didn’t “work out”. To make matters a little more urgent and clear you attached this event to the ending of the year 2012. There was so much hype around this time that it seemed correct for you to do so. And then 2012 came and went and… no singularity event.
I observed with some interest how you fared. You kept a brave face. You feigned nonchalance. But inside you were screaming. You could not make sense of this and you didn’t want to go looking for answers for fear that you would find that everything you had created – you whole book and everything you had ever expressed – might all turn out to be so much self-deception and delusion. Your greatest fear was that you might have hurt and misled others.
So I observed as you felt tempted to try and spin another layer of story to explain this. That would have just trapped you far more deeply in this creation. I observed as you felt tempted to just leave this whole creation behind. This would not work as, no matter what you do, you cannot ever leave yourself behind. And I observed you too as you slowly found your way to the possibility that The Singularity Event was indeed correct but that you had just, in some fundamental way, misunderstood some part of it. You already had all the parts in your mind when finally you could stand it no longer and you put your questions and difficulties before Lisa.
Now Lisa, as I have said and as you well know, is the incarnating aspect of a being of great clarity and Light. And in offering your difficulty to her you allowed her to unlock a connection within herself. And she was therefore able to offer you a set of deep insights and powerful wisdom that allowed you to begin to understand some of the parts of the puzzle. As a result of that conversation you were ready to bring it before me and we wove it all together into the above tale.
And that is what I wish you to understand. I can feel you burning with questions. Go ahead. Ask.
Z: Wowzer. Yes… I have many questions all lining up for your attention. The most pressing and urgent one, I guess is this:
How do I know that this above story isn’t just another story that I (you? we?) am spinning to deal with my fears? I mean if the process has proven itself to be fallible, then how do I know that what you have told me won’t also pan out to be wrong?
8: I have told you that the way you received the story of The Singularity Event wasn’t in fact “wrong”. You still haven’t understood that. So let’s start there:
If a child outgrows a pair of shoes and needs a new pair… who is wrong? Who is to blame? Who should we punish? And who should we stop trusting? The child? The child’s feet? The shoes?
What you did was to create for yourself the very best understanding that you possibly could of an experience that you and your co-creators will have. There were parts missing… because you hadn’t undertaken the growth required to know of them.
Now you have grown.
The point of “growth” is that it is a very special kind of change. It is change that takes into consideration that what you have is no longer appropriate for what you need. And so it is about adapting yourself and your circumstances so that you again have whatever is required by your developing needs.
So you grow.
But if you cannot grow without first judging yourself for who you were… then your journey forward is going to be a constant suffering.
So you retain that which serves you, you let go of that which does not serve you and you discover, create or adopt the necessary replacement for that which you are releasing. No judgements or recriminations are necessary.
And yes, it is so that as you continue to grow so, in due course eventually, you WILL let go of these words and ideas that we are now sharing. By then, of course, you will have the maturity to release them without first needing to be angry with someone for their “wrongness” You will release them with joy and laughter and float away to other much broader horizons.
Z: Hmm. Okay. I accept that. Thank you. But before I can move on I just need to know – just how far off WAS that chapter?
8: You can re-read it for yourself and see. The parts where you were expressing the notion that this is an event that comes to you without you first taking a hand in creating it… that is not possible. For the rest… if it brings you joy to do so, then you can co-create it with anyone else who would like to share in that. The gist of it is good.
Z: And you said earlier that this is the gift I bear into this reality? What does that mean?
AngelicView: I will link you to Zingdad’s website to read the rest. 🙂