I was walking upstairs from our apartment to go outside. My boyfriend was there and I put my arms around his neck, told him to hold me because I was going to pass out. He thought I was joking, let me go and I fell backwards and slammed my head against the frozen concrete walkway. This is what I experienced
I became conscious that I was in complete darkness and alone. I had zero sense of body but a complete sense of self. I was me (sense of humor, intelligence etc) I was suspended, just there, I perceived a spot of color wayyyyy off in the distance like a small pinprick of color on a jet black blotter. My thought was “oh what is that” the moment I thought it, I moved forward, almost like my curiosity propelled me. I knew I had no body so it was like floating forward, I remember thinking “wow this is cool” and I wanted to see what the color was.
The more curious I got the faster I propelled forward, like flying, it felt incredibly freeing. I really liked it and the more I wanted to go faster, the faster I went. As I got closer to the color, I heard faint music and smelt an incredibly intoxicating scent. I focused my mind and I was really ripping through space now and I found myself skimming over this all encompassing landscape of such colorful flowers (colors that I have never seen before and I realized that was a sad thing), the smell of them was so incredible and the music was so loud and sweet. I was in total control but couldn’t stop, I kept going faster, the faster I went the more colorful the flowers, the more powerful their smell and the louder and sweeter the music until everything reached such a crescendo I was throw into a stunning moment of light/clarity.
I remember thinking “So that’s what it’s all about” and I felt like I had thrown my head back (if I would have had a head) and let out such an incredible belly laugh (didn’t have a belly either). The truth is incredibly funny and it is a living thing.
The moment that I though “so that’s what it’s all about” and laughed, I woke up on the ground to see my boyfriend white as a ghost hovering right above my face. He said that I was out for over 10 minutes but he thought I was fooling around because he said that I had the most beautiful smile on my face that he had ever seen.
The lesson that I took away from this event is the following:
1)Do not live in fear. Fear will keep you stuck in a dark space/void.
(If I would not have wanted to see what that speck of light was and if I would have been afraid to go, I would still be suspended in darkness)
2)Never lose your sense of childlike wonder and curiosity, it will take you/lead you where you need to go.
3) Do not lose your sense of humor, I believe that the truth is funny and we need to lighten up a little.
I was taught a life lesson about how we should all stay young at heart.
Curiosity and a sense of wonder are what we should use to experience this world that we live in and to enjoy the beauty that surrounds us.